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How can I gradually stop my emotional dependency? How can I fix a codependent relationship?

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished August 15, 2020

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Having Normality in Emotions rnOur emotions should remain in normality, neither above normal nor below! Normality means our behaviour is just like that of actors or actresses in plays or movies. For instance, an actor acts like a good husband and is nice to his wife in the play. He says positive things to her which makes her feel happy. When he comes back home from a business trip, he says to his wife, “I missed you and I did not like being away from you.” ‘Such a positive and loving behaviour wins the wife over’ - this message is so nicely conveyed by the husband and wife via their acting that it creates pleasure and conviction in the mind of everyone who sees them (their audience)! rnYou too can act in a similar way in your personal life. Perform your role in life with the same degree of conviction as the actors and actresses. That will make everyone in your family happy. And more importantly, it makes you free from the binds of emotional dependency towards your co-dependent. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, Intellect makes one emotional. Imagine what would happen if this train were to become emotional? It will cause accidents and kill many people. Similarly, when humans become emotional, countless organisms in our body die. So, remain in ‘motion.’rnJust imagine what would happen if the driver of a train becomes emotional? It will lead to collision of the train and several people will die, isn’t it?! And we become responsible for it. Therefore, realize your responsibility and remain in normality! Not Emotional Love, Adopt Pure Love!rnWhen people say that they love each other, one is generally referring to the emotions which are an outcome of attraction and attachment for each other. Emotions, by their inherent nature, rise and over time fade out; whereas pure love is a constant phenomenon; it neither increases nor decreases. Where there is pure love, one does not hurt anyone’s feelings through his actions. Even his speech is one that does not hurt; it is without mistakes. Nobody gets hurt by his spoken words because he has genuine love for everyone! rnCan Get Rid of Emotional Dependency and Fix Codependent Relationship in just Two hours Let’s understand how...rnIn 1958, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan attained Self-Realization! He had a wife and was a contractor in business. Throughout his life, he took good care of his wife. Going ahead, his wife lost vision in one eye. But this didn’t affect him at all, because after Self-Realization, he had become an embodiment of Pure Love. His emotions were replaced by Pure Love now! He lived an exemplary life and provided such art of living to the common masses, which made it possible even for a layman to maintain happy, peaceful and harmonious relationships with everyone. And one could do this by making minimum changes in his external behaviour and yet reap maximum benefits in terms of healthy relationships. How?? By attaining Self-Realization and adopting right understanding in life. What is Self-Realization? And how does it Solve the Problem of Emotional Dependency?rnDo you know we all are really a ‘Pure Soul’? And Soul itself is ‘Pure Love’! Owing to ignorance of ‘who am I?’ we believe ourselves to be the body or the name given to this physical body. Consequently, we develop attachment for every-body towards whom we feel above-normal emotions and we become emotionally dependent; and simultaneously harness hatred for those towards whom we have negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, sadness, etc. The very nature of emotions is such that it inevitably leads to more and more suffering in life. But if we are able to somehow do away with the ignorance and know that really ‘I am a Pure Soul’, we can find a way out of all the suffering. To our Best Fortune...rnParam Pujya Dada Bhagwan, after Self-Realization, also attained special divine powers, with the help of which, he was able to impart Self-Realization to people at large. And before he passed away, he blessed Pujya Deepakbhai with those divine powers too. As a result, we can easily attain Self-Realization today, with the direct grace of this Living Gnani!!! With enormous compassion in His heart, Gnani removes the darkness of ignorance within us and bestows the real knowledge of Self onto us. His only intention or we may say his heart-felt desire is to introduce us to our real Self i.e. the Soul, which is an abode of eternal bliss, and thus do away with all our sufferings in life. Hence there is no cost attached to this; the Self-Realization that we attain is totally free! After Self-Realization, by remaining in his company and following his teachings, as you learn to dwell more and more in the awareness of ‘I am a Pure Soul’, you will, for yourself see, that your emotional dependency has gradually stopped and your co-dependent relationship has been beautifully fixed. Externally, you continue living your normal life as is, but the real love that begins emanating from within you now gradually starts fixing things for good. You begin to see the same Pure Soul as yours in your partner too! This makes it easy for you to take adjustments and maintain a cordial bonding with your co-dependent in your day-to-day life. You are now conscious about not causing the slightest hurt to him / her, which in turn kindles similar intentions in your partner too. Praying to the Pure Soul works MagicrnAnd in case you still find yourself continuing to be emotionally dependent, do not fret! rnRather, pray to that effect for 10-15 minutes daily to his/her Pure Soul. You will surely get solutions to come out of your ‘emotion’ related problems then. Praying to the partner’s Pure Soul is a very effective method. It has helped me solve a lot of my problems with the family. I was gradually able to communicate effectively with them and so were they with me. It creates magic! Since then, I am living happily with the family, experiencing a lot of peace and joy; for there isn’t any baggage of emotions anymore on my shoulders now! I pray and hope that you too get an early fix through this easy and pure way! To know more please visit: https://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/relationship/true-love-in-relationship/

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