How Do I Overcome Shyness [Exercise Inside]

Why Shyness Will Always Hold You Back In Life and What You Can Do To Instantly Reduce It

Let me ask you a question : Have you ever been invited to a party where you knew you will meet people you didn't know. And, instead of accepting the invitation, you gave a fake excuse and stayed home?... Yes? Well, here is another question : Why do you do that? Put simply, it's because you imagined that you'll be rejected and/or humiliated. Maybe you imagine people rolling their eyes to each other when you talk to any of them. Maybe you imagine yourself standing alone in the corner and seeing people whisper things about you and then start laughing. I know I used to think like this. And I too preferred to stay home, because even the THOUGHT of these things happening was paralyzing. So shyness is a complicated process, you have to imagine people in the future responding badly to you. You have to imagine yourself stumbling, being out of breath and having nothing to say. And it requires a lot of discipline (obviously) because once you're shy you do repeat the process EVERY time. You never seem to forget it. That's why I'm fascinated with shyness, it's like a skill that you're performing without knowing about it.

Why Are YOU Shy, Why Not Everybody Else?

Let's cut to the chase : I think you're shy because you lack one CORE belief, that goes like this : "I'm Worthy Of Social Connection, Love, Companionship and Respect". You didn't get that belief from your parents as a kid. If you did, most of your social problems would NEVER have existed. I didn't get that belief either, I had to learn to believe it as I became more social. If you invite a confident guy (not shy) to a party, here is how he would think : "Of course I'll go. Maybe I'll meet some new cool people or some cute girls. I'll definitely have fun and if the party stinks, I can always hit the road and find something better to do". He never thinks about what people will think of him. He actually thinks about whether or not OTHER people will be cool enough for him to stay. When this type of guy looks at the past, he remembers people responding POSITIVELY to him. When you (or the shy-you) look at your past, you don't remember people responding positively to you. That's the MAIN reaso YOU feel shy. So, in order to solve this, we have to put "good memories" in your future. In the next section, I share a technique on how to do it.

In Order To Overcome Shyness, We Have To Put "Good Memories" in Your Future.

How To Overcome Shyness

There are many techniques on how to overcome shyness. In this article, let's start with a basic one. It consists of an exercise in 5 steps : 1. Complete this sentence, with 3 different answers : If I was 5% more confident with people I would _________ If I was 5% more confident with people I would _________ If I was 5% more confident with people I would _________ Example : If I was 5% more confident with people I would walk inside the coffee shop confidently and with a smile on my face. 2. Complete this one, with 3 different answers : If I was 10 times more confident with people I would _________ If I was 10 times more confident with people I would _________ If I was 10 times more confident with people I would _________ Example : If I was 10 times more confident with people I would go to local parties with friends or alone and talk to people, practice social skills, make new friends and get more dates. 3. Imagine yourself DOING what would with 10 times more social confidence. Then, imagine yourself DOING what you would with 5% more social confidence. This takes no more than a minute. Now, what feels more comfortable and realistic for you to start doing? Imagine yourself doing that throughout this week. Then imagine yourself doing it next week. Again, shouldn't take you more tha 60 seconds. 4. Repeat this process each week OR each time you're about to go in a social situation that used to make you feel shy in the past. 5. Report your experiences with the new behaviors in a journal (writing or typing). Remember, this is only one technique and it's a great one. I will be sharing more of these so stay tuned. Talk to you soon -Paul Sanders