How do you know when it’s Over?

No one likes to admit when a relationship is coming to an end, though most of us can sense it long before the actually end comes along. Sometimes it’s a matter of putting a little more effort in and working on the things you and your partner are lacking on, but sometimes the problems may be too much to overcome and it’s time to walk away. Knowing the difference between the two can be difficult though, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. Here are five ways you can tell that your relationship is likely over and that it’s time to come to peace with the situation and move on before things get even more murky and complicated. 1) You’re emotionally unavailable or checked out. If you no longer have strong feelings for your partner or are not connecting with them on an emotional level, then it’s probably time to call it quits. A strong emotional base is the key to a lasting relationship, and when that’s in jeopardy it’s tough to make it last. 2) There is abuse - either physically, mentally, or emotionally. Any time abuse exists in a relationship you should get out. Whether it’s the first time an incident has occurred or the 20th, it’s time for you to move on from a relationship that is hazardous to you. Abusive relationships are not good for either person in them and can lead to an unhappy and unsafe future for both of you. 3) One or both of you has an untreated addiction problem. Addiction is an ugly disease that can lead to abuse or can create an emotional distance between you and your partner. If your partner refuses treatment, then it may be time to move on and start fresh with someone cares about you and themselves. 4) You live in the past more than the present. If you spend more time thinking about how good (or bad) the old days with your partner were than you do enjoying your current situation together, then it may be a sign things are over. Dwelling on the past for good or bad reasons never leads to anything good and it can keep you from living in the present with your partner. 5) When the only reason you stay is because you expect them to change. You should never force your partner to change, nor should you ever expect them to on their own. Change is hard for most people and if you don’t love your partner for who they are, then you should move on. Your partner will never live up to what you want them to be and you’ll be perpetually disappointed. No matter what you decide to do with your relationship, remember that a lot of issues start at the personal level, so it’s important to look closely at yourself to see what the problems may be. If you decide your relationship is over, break the news as quickly and compassionately as you can and then start the healing, forgiveness, and moving on processes.