How Does Narcissistic Personality Disorder Develop?

It is generally accepted that narcissistic personality disorder tendenciesmaymanifest as a result of defunct parenting. Narcissistic tendencies can develop as a result of very low emotional intelligence operating within a family dynamic. If emotional support is non-existent and especially if replaced with abuse or abandonment, the child who becomes narcissistic may decide ‘It is too painful to be open and vulnerable and suffer the agony of being discarded or abused’ and will bury his or her ‘True Self’ to create a ‘False Self’ who is full of defences and pathologies in order to survive. The child who has become defensive and created a pathological narcissistic self, believes that the only way to get his or her needs met is to act out, be aggressive and demanding, manipulate, charm or lie about situations in order to minimise abuse, and fulfil his or her need to be recognised and acknowledged. Sadly this creates a condition of ‘separation’ whereby the narcissistic child feels unsupported, and having to pit his or her will against others. This perception is the very root of the ‘me versus you’ condition inherent in individuals who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Sometimes the role model of a narcissistic parent may have a large impact in regard to teaching aggression, judgement, entitlement, chauvinism, cruelty and other assorted narcissistic behaviours to children, who absorb these behaviours as ‘normal’ or even ‘admirable’. This will be especially true if the narcissistic parent chose a particular child as the ‘extension of self’ used to create extra ammunition, pain and fear against the narcissistically abused spouse or love partner. The other components, which may manifest narcissistic tendencies within children, are excessive entitlement with very few boundaries and an absence of accountability. If a child does not learn healthily the meaning of the word ‘no’, or that he or she will not suffer the consequences of poor choices and actions,narcissistic tendencies are almost guaranteed. As a result the child may develop the narcissistictendencies of believinghe or she isomnipotent, entitled to everything he or she desires, and become a law unto self, who can do whatever he or she wishes regardless of the consequences.