How Not To Tell Your Children That You're Getting A Divorce

Divorce is hard on everyone, particularly on kids. Many parents struggle with their marriages for years before deciding that divorce is the best option for everyone. When this decision is made, it then falls to the parents to let their kids know what be happening. Unfortunately, well-meaning parents sometimes make delivering this news more traumatic than it needs to be. Here are some examples of how not to tell your children that you're getting a divorce:

Be Unprepared

Some parents are so upset that they fail to prepare for "the talk" with their kids. As a result, the conversation quickly spirals out of control. This is particularly true with younger children who may not have a good idea of what divorce is or means.

Fail to Control Emotions

Parents need to maintain self-control while discussing divorce with their kids. Crying, making accusations against the other parent or showing signs of distress further traumatizes children. Such behavior may also discourage children from asking questions or seeking support from their parents.

Schedule the Conversation at a Bad Time

Waiting for an appropriate time to deliver the news is important. This may mean waiting until after a holiday or life event, such as graduation. It may also mean having the conversation on a weekend when the kids do not immediately have to go back to school.

Offer Too Much Information

There is no reason to drag kids into the conflicts that led to the divorce. Doing this creates distrust between family members. Parents need to own their behavior and not involve their children in their past actions.

Don't Say What Happens Next

Parents should be prepared to explain what will happen next to their kids. If one of the parents will move out, it's important to provide a firm date. If custody plans are already in place, that should also be explained to the children. If no plans are in place, though, you should take their conce s into consideration when discussing that with your legal representative. Lawyers, like those at Ramsden Lawyers, should definitely be willing to put the children’s needs first when it comes to a custody situation. Even in situations where the logistics of a divorce have not yet been determined, parents should reassure their children of their love. Children should also be reassured that both parents are committed to maintaining a healthy relationship with them during and after the divorce. Fortunately, there are many resources for parents who are getting divorced. Therapists, mediators and even atto eys can provide guidance on age-appropriate ways of discussing divorce with your children. Being able to discuss the situation openly and with compassion can help your family heal and move on.