How REBT Can Help You Stop Your Negative Self Talk

Negative Self Talk We have all had times where we have had an extremely bad day and that bad day turns in to a bad week. Experiences like this make us start to doubt ourselves and the negative self talk begins. Negative self talk is the negative things that you tell yourself. Things like you're not good enough, or you were stupid to have done this or that. Whatever negative things you are telling yourself are probably not accurate. They usually reflect your fears about yourself and are a distorted version of what the real truth is. Negative self talk can have severe effects on our lives and increase our stress level. It can also be very damaging to our self esteem and own self image. You Have Control Over Yourself The good news is that we have control over ourselves, which includes our thoughts and our feelings. While we don’t have control over what anyone else thinks or does we have complete and total control of those things in our own lives. That is good news because that means you can change the way that you think. Doing this will in turn decrease our stress level and make you an overall more positive person. If you feel confident, you will project that to others. If you feel positive, others will likely see that as well. REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy Changing your way of thinking does not happen overnight. However, there are several methods and techniques that can aid you in the process. One such technique is called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). This was developed by DR. Albert Ellis in the 1950’s. He believed that most people truly want to be happy. REBT hypothesizes that is our beliefs about ourselves that disturb us creating depression and anxiety and not the event itself. DR. Ellis proposed a way of controlling our thoughts when something negative happens. He termed this the ABC Model. The ABC Model A. Something happens B. You have a belief about the situation C. You have an emotional reaction to your belief As An Example: A. You are accused of stealing. B. You believe that the person has no right to accuse you of that and think that they are rude and mean. C. You feel angry. How the ABC Model Works The purpose of this is to show you that A (the situation) does not cause C (your emotional reaction to your belief). To the contrary it is B (your belief about the situation) that causes C. It is your belief that the person has no right to accuse you of stealing that makes you angry. Dr. Ellis proposed that we all hold irrational beliefs about yourself, others and the word. These include: 1. Feeling that you have to do well all the time in order to get approval from others and if you don’t that you are no good. 2. Others must treat you nicely and in the same way you want them to treat you. If they don’t then they deserve to be punished. 3. You must get what you want, when you want it. It is not acceptable to not get what you want and would be unbearable if you didn’t get what you want. Having Irrational Beliefs Effect the Way We Feel These irrational beliefs can create and foster depression, anxiety, shame and guilt. These beliefs can also result in feeling angry and passive aggressive as well as include feelings of self pity. Having more reasonable and healthy expectations of others and ourselves can change our feelings and therefore our behaviors about a situation. It is necessary to understand that you are not perfect and you do not have to be. At times, others will in fact be rude, mean and unkind to you and of course life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan and that’s ok, because sometimes it turns out even better. It does not mean that because there are changes in your life that it is unbearable, Becoming a Happier Person The next time you find yourself in a negative or unpleasant situation, try using the ABC’s of the REBT method. By changing our belief about a situation, you will find that you will also change your feelings about it as well, thus resulting in a happier you! Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and should not be used for diagnosis or to guide treatment without the opinion of a health professional. Any reader who is concerned about his or her health should contact a doctor for advice Original article link: http://www.suite101.com/content/how-rebt-can-help-you-stop-your-negative-self-talk-a339309rn