How to be 100 % Present for Your Children During a Divorce

Divorce is a process that brings along lots of stress and problem for a family. If there are any children involved in the process of divorce then things get more complicated. The legal battles for child custody and support add more fuel to this already burning divorce battle and makes life difficult for the kids. The effects of divorce on the mind of growing kid are destructive and often it is seen that these effects show up when these kids enter into adulthood. Divorce has a long lasting effect on the mind of children. At times, what happens is that during divorce, children develop a feeling that all the ongoing activities are because of them and they are solo reason for all this. And this leads to the feelings the he is getting deserted by one parent as well. Often, the decision of living with one parent makes life difficult for young kids. You need to speak with your children and explain things to them. You also need to assure them that whatever is happening is not their fault. Try to explain that you and your spouse are getting divorced because there is no point living together and making life hell for everyone. It is better to live separate life and live happily. Children also suffer a sense of loss and this feeling gets mutated with passing time and how parents handle the process of divorce.

Given below are some of things that you can do during divorce to ease out children from the effects of divorce:

• Talk as much as you can with your children. Show them your presence and make them feel that you are always present to take care of them. Explain to your children that whatever is happening, is happening for a good reason and that there is no fault of theirs
• Never use your children as spy. If the court has given child custody to other spouse and you are granted visitation rights then make sure that whenever you meet with your children, do not use them as your spy. This will have a drastic effect on the mind of the child.
• You need to make the kids understand that they are not unwanted and they are not the reason for the divorce. Explain the whole divorce process. If the children are grown up then explain the reason for divorce and reassure them that they are in safe hands. This assurance will provide them the sense of security, stability and care
• You need to tell the children that things are going to be different after divorce. There is no point running away from the issues. Explain things to them. If you are getting the child custody explain it to the kids and tell them that the other spouse will be coming to meet them .
• There is no point blaming what happened and caused the divorce. Do not take your negativity in front of the kids. Things might be difficult for you but you need to understand that it is for the betterment of the children .
• If you play the blame game, then it is going to have a negative effect on the mind of the children.
• Participate with the kids in their daily activity. Be part of every thing that children do when they are at home like playing games, helping them with their school work.
• You can also ask the children to help you in your work. This increases the bonding between you and your children and will also fill the gap that is caused by the departure of the other spouse.
• Allow the free flow of expression and emotions and let the kids communicate more with you about their feelings. Let them be honest and allow them to find words to express their emotions. If you let this happen, it will prevent formation of negativity in children.