Article

How to Build Charisma and Draw Others to You

Topic: Marriage CoachingPublished July 17, 2011

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You've probably noticed that some people just radiate a wonderful energy, drawing people to them with seemingly little effort, and chances are that you've wondered how you can build charisma to radiate that same great attitude. Perhaps you've been thinking that charisma, magnetism, or star quality, as it's sometimes called, is something that you're born with. If you weren't born with it, you don't' have it, end of story. The good news is you're wrong! What is Charisma? Before you begin to build charisma, let's look at what it really is. Charisma is an attitude, warmth, a quality that makes people like you. It's that simple, and that complicated. It gets complicated when people try to build charisma in the wrong ways. You're probably familiar with a few people who try too hard to get people to like them. They usually come off as doing just that...trying too hard. Unfortunately, their insincere attempts drive people away, instead of drawing them in. This is because in order to seem natural, charisma has to be subtle. The most charismatic people aren't obvious. They don't' pester people and they don't make others uncomfortable. In fact, charismatic people do exactly the opposite. They make people, even complete strangers, and feel extremely comfortable almost right away. How to do this is an art, but it's an art that can be learned. How to Build Charisma Your facial expressions and eye contact make up a large part of charisma. Look people in the eye when you talk, instead of glancing over their shoulder to see who else is around. While you're talking to them, ensure that your face is relaxed and friendly. A fake smile is obvious, so don't go overboard. Just make sure that you don't look blank or bored. These charismatic facial tricks let a person know that you're focused on them, which is rare today with all the distractions of technology. You can build charisma by the way you ask questions. People love to talk about themselves, and asking questions is a great way to build a connection if you do it correctly. This is also easier than it sounds...just ask! Don't rush into another question if they don't answer right away. Keep silent, and eventually they'll start talking. This lets them know that you really care about what they have to say, which makes them feel special. Another trick to quickly build charisma is to mimic the body language of the person you're talking to. Don't' be obvious with this, or it can look extremely creepy! Simply follow their lead. If they're standing up straight, follow suit. If they're relaxed and leaning on something, copy their casual stance. This sends subconscious signals that you're on the same wavelength, which instantly makes a person feel much more comfortable with you. Learning to build charisma has more to do with attitude than anything else. If you're a genuinely warm person who cares about others, these little tricks will let that shine through, and soon you won't have to build charisma anymore...you'll just have it!

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