How To Develop A Backbone

Do you constantly feel that people are walking all over your good nature? What if you were more assertive? Do you feel that people would respect you then?

Being an assertive person is something that people work towards. They feel that if they grow in this area, then people won't take advantage of them, and therefore, they won't be hurt by others. It's not easy to be assertive for some, but it can be done.

Here's some tips for those on the journey of growing in assertiveness:

1. No apologies. Many people are trained to say this, to win the approval of others. But how often do you say this, when you have nothing to be sorry for?

• You can grow a backbone when you stop devaluing yourself with apologies. There is a time for apologies, but there are times when there are not.

• For example, if you hit someone's cart in the grocery store, than an apology would be appropriate to be polite. But if you drink someone's juice, or if someone is being selfish toward you in your family, then apologies are not necessary.

2. Speak Now! Value yourself for speaking out for your needs, and desires. This will require that you are a great communicator. You deserve to let your voice, and your needs to be heard.

• This doesn't give you the license to be rude or nasty. This means being firm, and yet clear about your needs and desires.

• Don't be timid or mousy, thinking that people will like you more. Be firm, and speak out your needs and desires.

3. Be patient with yourself: You are making a major new life change. This is great, but you are going to need practice, and you might make some mistakes. This is okay; you'll get better in time.

• You'll win some, and you'll lose some. But don't give up on your growth! Keep at it, and you will grow in assertiveness.

• Imagine how much your life will change, when you learn how to stand up for yourself.

4. Work on body language. This is the first thing that comes across. Act like you respect yourself in your body language.

• Stand tall ,make eye contact, speak up.

• When you make eye contact with others, then people will respect you. when you mumble and look down on the floor, then people won't respect you.

When you grow in assertiveness, then you'll find that your personal life will start to bloom! You will grow in your family life, your job, and in the other areas of your life. It will take time for you to grow, but this is an investment in yourself that can make such a difference in your life!