HOW to feel Comfort without Food

Did you see the Oprah episode when actress Tracey Gold appeared with Rudine, a woman who was suffering with a severe eating disorder? In recovery from her own eating disorder, Tracey was encouraging Rudine to “make the little steps to fill your mind so that you can fight back…you have to feed your brain!” To which Rudine weakly pleaded, “But how? How do you do it?” I understand why Oprah said that Rudine’s question is “one of the most powerful things she’s ever heard.” When Rudine asked “How,” Oprah said it changed the way she approached every show from that moment on. This book is the “How”.

How do you dissolve the desire to overeat? How do you pause in that moment of wanting to overeat and feel the comfort you are craving – without food? How do you stop obsessing over what you ate, what you shouldn’t eat, what you really want to eat, the number on the scale, the size of your thighs? How do you become someone who rarely thinks about food? Is that even possible? How do you replace the constant head chatter with peace? How do you lose self hatred and gain a feeling of pride and respect for your body? How do you feel so full of comfort that the thought of overeating is absurd?

I struggled, prayed, begged, read and asked how for fifteen years. I tried therapy, food plans, self help groups, psychiatric medication, rehab, Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing and hypnosis. I was willing to do anything to be free from the torture of my compulsive overeating. I watched girls become free from their compulsion, as I sunk deeper into a hopeless state of “what about me?” despair. I knew that if they could become free, so could I. I just didn’t understand why, with all the effort, willingness and prayers, I was still bingeing, obsessed with food and, for years, overweight. I remember going out to eat with friends and being baffled at how they ate, happily, and went on with their day. They didn’t have to buy more food on their way home or obsess about what they just ate and how they were going to “undo it” by not eating the rest of the day, or by exercising or purging. They didn’t hide at home feeling fat and afraid to be seen because no one would want them or love them being overweight. That’s how I felt.

“Normal” eaters baffled me. Eating seemed to be just a small part of their life, not the majority and determining factor of where their life would lead, or stall. I also couldn’t understand how overweight people could just decide to go on diets, lose weight and voila, done. I just didn’t get it. My message to any of you who are losing hope: don’t throw in the towel and say “I’m tired of the struggle, forget it, I’m just going to eat and purge or just be overweight”. If you’ve been compulsively eating for at least a few years, becoming free does not happen ove
ight. But if you practice the disciplines with even half the energy you spent eating, you will begin to eat less and love yourself more.

I am free from bingeing and obsessive thinking about food today. I have eaten more than my body needs at times but I have not binged or purged in over seven years. I wore my favorite pre-pregnancy bikini and skinny jeans four months after giving birth to both of my children. No diets, trainers or gym memberships, and I get to eat everything I like. I have a light body and more importantly, a light heart. I never thought I could be naturally thin. I am and you can be too.

“A Bellyful of Bliss: Freedom From Compulsive Eating is Just the Beginning” is available at amazon.com or amyiversonadams.com