How to Find Out What Prevents You from Having a Successful Intimate Relationship

Has it happened to you that in spite of your desire to have a partner with whom to develop an intimate relationship you found yourself, time and again, with partners that were wrong for you; having the same conflicts and arguments that you’ve had in the past; dissatisfied and alienated?

Have you ever asked yourself what was going on? How it was possible that something you so much desired remained so far out of your grasp? Have you ever contemplated whether there is anything you can do to change this situation?

SELF-AWARENESS IS THE ANSWER

Example: Sandra

Sandra didn’t understand what was happening. How could it be that in spite of her strong desire for a relationship and after having had quite a few, she still hasn’t managed to find and cultivate one that’s right for her? Something always seems to go wrong: it either turns out that the partners she falls in love with aren’t suitable for her; that the arguments and disagreements they have make the situation unbearable; or that the relationship simply ends, sometimes at her initiation, sometimes against her will. Damn! Will she ever manage to find and cultivate a satisfying, long-term relationship? Is that possible?

Sandra decides that she has to do something. She wants to understand how come her relationships always fail. After all, she has much love to give and a strong desire for a serious, intimate bond. She tells herself that it’s time she stops blaming “all these men”: is it really possible that not even one of them is right for her? She’s afraid to think that maybe it’s something in her that’s preventing her from finding and cultivating a genuine, intimate relationship. But since she’s already gone out with quite a few men, and still hasn’t found one that’s right for her, the problem, after all, might lie within her…

EMBARKING ON THE PATH TO SELF-AWARENESS TAKES COURAGE

Sandra decides to start looking inwards; to discover that maybe there are things about her that she doesn't know, which are sabotaging her relationships.

While Sandra is afraid to look inwards, she hopes she’ll discover something that will make her understand what’s happening; whether there’s something she can do to change things within herself which will enable her to find and cultivate a genuine, intimate, long-term and healthy relationship.

IF YOU TRULLY WISH TO UNDERSTAND WHAT AND HOW TO CHANGE

If you, just like Sandra, honestly and truly wish to understand what’s going wrong with your relationships (or lack of) and to determine whether there is anything you can do otherwise, then DEVELOP SELF-AWARENESS:

1) Get to understand what stands in your way from having the relationship you wish for;
2) Realize which behaviors repeat themselves throughout all your interactions;
3) Identify factors in your life – such as fears and needs – that drive you to behave the way you do (and consequently harm your relationships).

You might resist this advice, telling yourself you don’t have time to develop Self-Awareness. All you want is a relationship!

The problem is that if you haven’t been successful in cultivating a satisfying relationship until now, there are reasons for it. Not taking the time to find out what these are, might lead you to fail – time and again - in whichever relationship you will attempt to develop.

SELF-AWARENESS; IT CAN REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Developing Self-Awareness is, therefore, the shortest and most helpful way to find out what stands in your way and learn how to change it. You will then become empowered to develop the relationship you desire.