How To Fix A Relationship.Mending fences and building bridges.

Relationship advice is often seen as something exclusive to a best friend, or a very close family member. The reason for that is fairly simple; we usually listen to someone whose opinion we highly value. We think, weigh the advice and act accordingly because we trust the source. Oftentimes, these people will always look for our best interest at heart, and sometimes that may prove to be detrimental in fixing a relationship. rnIn a relationship there are always two people to consider. Their situation, emotion, even their anxieties all play a part in the relationship going forward. The faster we resolve differences, establish a clear line of communication, the better we can manage our relationships with different people.We often look at relationships as something that doesn’t need work. This is farthest thing from the truth; some relationships need constant work. Some are easier than others to manage, but the strongest ones need a lot of love and attention. Knowing how to fix a relationship is not an exact science. The hazards are aplenty but knowing some basics can prove to be the difference in these times. Taking ownership.The blame game is never fun. Who did what and when is never a good way to start the process of healing one’s relationship. We can cite all the instances like a lawyer prosecuting the accused, but it is not a healthy way to start. Try to remember that one gets angry over the actions the other has chosen and not the person itself.We often forget that we too are human. Making our own mistakes is part of that condition. The thing that separates us is remorse. When we realize what we have done, we begin to notice and reflect that the decision we made was not the correct one. This is part and parcel of being an adult, though some kids have shown that they can be remorseful when they commit mistakes. rnRemorse is the trait that gains us a second chance to work out our differences and expectations of one another. Without it, it raises the severity of the mistake and compounds it. When we own up to our actions, we embrace our shortcomings and work on them with an added sense of sincerity. Expectations (Unplanned and Planned).Things don’t always work out as planned. The most common effect of having expectations is frustration. There are two types of expectations in my book; the unplanned and planned expectation. For the former, we imagine the person acting and reacting a certain way when he or she is around us, even if this person does not exhibit any of the traits we imagine them having. This happens when we idealize our world and the people we love and set expectations that are sometimes unreasonable. When they are not able to approximate our ideals it puts an unnecessary strain in our relationships. It is normal to have expectations but remember that these are all conjured in our minds, in what we approximate as a healthy relationship. This is easier to fix because they are all self made and self-imposed.The other type is the more common one, wherein both parties set expectations and one or both parties have broken the rules. Usually these are the harder ones to fix. For family relationships we can always argue that blood is thicker than water. This is the usual answer when problems between siblings and immediate family cannot be resolved. For people in a romantic relationship, this can pose as a trust and commitment issue, making these waters harder to navigate.As a general rule, one can set expectations in a relationship. It’s all about communicating one’s wants and needs to the other person involved. This is of course reciprocal in nature. Your partner is not a fortuneteller and neither are you. Having a meaningful and honest conversation about boundaries and expectations to one another can fix a broken relationship.rnResolution.A resolution is paramount to having a healthy relationship. Problems can arise from stress, lack of quality time, miscommunication and a host of other issues. Once the problems have been identified always work for a timely resolution.Moving forward is always the right approach. Bickering over spilled milk does not point to a resolution. It is a backward step. The only benefits in some people are that they are able to vent their frustrations. rnWhen we are emotionally charged we do not think clearly, we say things we don’t mean and even if they are the right words to say they mean something completely different when they are attached to an angry tone. This alienates your partner even further. Concentrating on moving forward rather than back can help you come to a resolution sooner and avoid breaking a fragile relationship.