How to get more respect in life

If I told you that you were required to like everyone you meet, how would you respond? Would you agree to it? Would you even think it’s possible? I think most of us would reject the idea. Some of us, at times, even have trouble liking ourselves let alone every person we come across. So why, when we are faced with a situation where someone doesn’t like us, do we tend to not apply the same wisdom and extend to them the courtesy we give ourselves? Why do we make them wrong for simply not liking us? The answer is because it hurts. When we encounter that hurt of perceived rejection, our natural reaction is to hurt back. We might be tempted to make a derogatory comment, such as: “The 80s called and they want their jacket back”. Ironically, this strategy just gives them more data to support their case. For the rest of us, it can morph into a torturous struggle to win that person’s approval by trying to be extra nice, proving we’re likeable and hoping the hurt goes away by gaining their acceptance. In either case, the end result will usually be the same. Eventually, we won’t feel good about our choices. We begin not liking ourselves. We can get so caught up in these negative emotions that we actually spend more time and energy focusing on the people who don’t like us, rather than on the people in our life who really do. So what can we do to minimize these hurts? It can be difficult in moments like these to remind ourselves that the perception of another person is just that: a perception. They do have a right to that perspective, even if it differs from our own. If we want to be free to choose who we like in our own lives, then we must be willing to allow others that same freedom. Many years ago, I was introduced to a word used in India that best captures that spirit for me. The word is namaste. Although I’ve heard many meanings and interpretations, the one I like most is: “The god in me honours the god in you”. If you’re not comfortable with the “g” word, life, energy, spirit or consciousness are a few good substitutes. Namaste serves as a great reminder that we all possess this precious gift of life, and that no one person is any more or less deserving of it than another. I also like the fact that it is used as both a greeting and a salutation, meaning we start our meeting with respect and we end our meeting with respect. So, the next time you find that likeability is not an option in a particular situation, why not try respect instead? By honouring someone else’s right to their own feelings and interpretations you will most likely gain their respect, not to mention your own as well. Who knows, they might even like you for it.