How to Get Over a Relationship

We’ve all been there. You meet someone fabulous, you fall in love, and life is wonderful… for a while. One day, the bickering starts. Things seem a little less shiny than before. After a while, things are clearly going downhill. And then: The Breakup. Getting over a relationship isn’t easy, but there are some ways you can lessen the pain. 1. Be patient – Just as a relationship takes time to grow, you need time to process your thoughts and feelings about the other person, the relationship itself and your role in it. Be patient and loving with yourself as you feel all the complex emotions that come with a breakup. The longer it lasted, the longer it may take for you to get over the relationship. 2. Show yourself some love – Try something physical (exercise, get a massage, a pedicure), emotional (have a good cry with a friend, therapist or a movie), or spiritual (meditate, go to church, or journal). Eat food that’s good for you and tastes good. 3. Have a Rant Box Session – Or several. A Rant Box Session occurs either in your journal or with a friend who is willing to just listen. Start by setting the timer for a specific amount of time (say, 10 minutes). Then, fill the entire time with complaints. Start with the complaints that are on the forefront of your mind and go as long, loudly and ridiculously as you can. Fill up the entire 10 minutes with complaints, no matter how serious or trivial. Get it all out of your system! 4. Do something nice – There’s nothing quite as good for getting your mind off your problems than by doing something for someone else. Volunteer for a cause you believe in, collect food for your local food bank, or give up your parking space to someone else, just because. By connecting to other people, you remind yourself that the world is bigger than just you, and full of unexpected goodness. 5. Spend time with friends – Remember that there are other people who love you and who want you to be happy. Be sure to spend some time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Good friends can let you wallow when you need to, but they also can engage you in other activities, and remind you about things you used to love, before old whatshisname came along. There’s no one way to get over a relationship, but time, patience and a healthy balance of self-care, over-the-top complaining and reaching out to others can go a long way toward moving on.