How to Handle Conflict Without Getting Sucked In!

During your lifetime, whether in business or personally you may be in a place where you experience conflict. Not everyone is going to like you or get along with you. Inevitably, being human, you might have a different opinion than someone else. This is when Mind Mastery comes into play in a big way. If you have learned how to ‘Tame that Tiger” within your head, if any kind of conflict does happen you will know that the best way to handle it is with a level head so you can avoid being stressed to the gill!

Handling conflict does not have to be confrontational in the classic sense. When someone mentions some kind of altercation you might start thinking, I don’t need this” “I don’t want to deal with it” however, you also know it needs to be dealt with. Coming to a meeting ready to prove you are right is not the best way to handle a conflict because ultimately it leads to arguing and one person wanting the last word and control.

Conflicts can occur at any time. You might be in a store and the cashier may be rude while they ring up your sale. We’ve all had that happen at least once, right? The first reaction might be to slam the money on the counter or to snap back at them. In that instant we have taken their problems as our own and created a stressful situation that can change the tone of the rest of our day. However, this only happens if we allow it.

These five tips work for coworkers, family members, friends, and even strangers. You never know when the proper response to a conflict could save you or someone else from having lots of stress.

1. Decide in advance how you intend to deal with any kind of conflict or disagreement that comes up. Sometimes we are quick to respond when someone says something we don’t like or don’t agree with. If you’ve given this some thought in advance and have been mastering your thinking you will know you don’t have to get defensive or jump down the other person’s throat! First take a deep breath before responding. In that few seconds think about the words that were said so you can answer calmly without getting angry or defensive.

2. In many cases, the conflict that comes up is not the first of its kind. Harsh or offensive words might be a recurring theme in the relationship. Decide if this connection is worth holding on to or if it’s time to let go of the relationship. This could result in a lost friendship, a divorce, or changing jobs. Sometimes, for your own sake, this decision is better in the long run than staying in an unhealthy relationship that causes stress for you.

3. You don’t have to respond right then. You can always say “I need to think about that, let me give you the answer later.” Give yourself time to talk over the situation with a trusted friend. Maybe you took what was said the wrong way. Sometimes, a third party can see something that you missed in the heat of your anger. Be big enough to apologize where necessary. If the consensus is that you were wronged then bring the matter to the attention of the other person with a level head and non-attacking kind of words.

4. A common conflict, especially among spouses could result from wanting to buy something when there really isn’t enough money. Instead of brooding think about it and see if you can come up with favorable solutions that, if it’s important, could get you what you want or need. If it’s something big, maybe you would need to make some money by selling something or even getting a second job.

5. Just because something is true doesn’t mean it has to be said. Telling someone that they are wearing a dress that is too small for them is not a positive way to help them lose weight. Understand how it could be offensive to them and apologize. Better yet, stop and think before you respond in situations such as these. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Part of resolving conflicts is realizing your role in it and how you can if you wish have the power not to get sucked in to something that could turn into chaos.

Facing confrontational situations can be challenging. However, it is not inevitable and sometimes it’s necessary to face what you’d rather forget. One of the best things I learned over the years if there’s a disagreement is to say “I don’t think I agree with you but you could of course be right!” Generally this will stop the conflict from going any further.

Learning conflict resolution techniques is all about mastering how you think in advance so you can alleviate the stress of these situations.