How to keep the internal harmony and balance in your soul?

Have you ever wanted…. To be able to keep your self-control and presence of mind when everybody around you got panicked? To stay calm, when people around you annoy you and get on your nerves? Not to get angry or despaired when everything is messed up and circumstances are not in your favor? To know what to do if something unexpected happens to you? To be self-confident that even though everybody is against you, not to take offence personally and not suffer from it, especially if someone wants to hurt you? In a word – you do not want to be influenced by the attitude of other people, to be unapproachable for what goes on, to be independent on other people, circumstances and events. In fact, have you ever asked yourself why you are so vulnerable, why it is so easy to be affected by events and people and as a result you lose your internal harmony and peace? Of course, yes – some people are steady and well-balanced, self-confident, flexible in various situations of life and always know what to do. In most cases, people are similar to ships made of paper, which are rocked by the stream and waives in all directions, as if they are puppets that are ruled over by invisible threads. People react as if they were machine and there are hidden buttons inside and when they click on those buttons, reaction is predicted similarly to a function of a program. One of my strivings is to be (as much as possible) independent of other people, circumstances and events in order to keep my internal harmony in chaos, to be connected with my internal center and peace despite of the surrounding shock and clamor. I often repeat the following affirmations to myself: I want to be like a pillar that can not be shaken by anything. I want to keep my inner voice, harmony and balance amongst chaos. I want to be calm, well-balanced and even-tempered. I want to know what to do. I want to be self-confident. I came up with various techniques for attaining self-control, calmness and well-balance, as well as methods for coping with the ups and downs of life, factors causing stress and influence of the environment. Some of those techniques and methods are: – affirmations, when you say – I want to be like a pillar that can not be shaken by anything, you should say something else instead: I am like a pillar that can not be shaken by anything. – visualization, when we start to live in the character of the humar we would like to become, - changes of our beliefs, - to decrease importance and realize that nothing is of that great importance, - not to take things personally, - to let yourself go and be drifted by the stream of life, – meditation and various methods for relaxation. All of the above methods are very effective and work (I already shared my own experience with them in previous articles). We are always vulnerable despite using them. Despite the fact that I often find a lot of answers in psychology throughout my personal searching for ways to sustain the internal balance of my soul, I consider that psychology is not enough for me. That is why I orientated myself to studying and investigating the Buddhism and Zen Buddhism. Zen Buddhists have always astonished me with their skill for achieving internal calmness and peace, the strength of their internal relation with their natural essence, as if they come from another world. I am amazed that anything that happens outside them can not ruin their integrity, as well as their ability to control internally their reactions and thoughts. I was asking myself – how can they do that? It is true that they meditate a lot, but is the meditation the only thing that makes them well-balanced? I wish that I could reach at anytime to that special place that is mentioned in spiritual principles – the place where everything is always fine, the place for which Deepak Chopra says: „There is a place of calmness and peace, a SANCTUARY deep inside you, where you can withdraw yourself at anytime, just to get back to you and be yourself. That sanctuary is the simple awareness of the comfort, which can not be burdened by the uproar of the events.” After very many analysis, observation and experience, I conclude that the reason for the vulnerability of people is not that they are weak, but because of their ego and the identification of a person with it. Ego is an image which you create out of your experiences, opinion of other people, of your achievements and failures, of what you were learnt. Ego is a perception of you, but this perception is illusionary because it was created due to the influence of the surrounding world outside of you. You react in every situation based on the standpoint of this image. When you are hurt, despaired, whenever you feel afraid of something or feel indignant with somebody, you certainly want to be stronger, to be harsher and steadier and try to strengthen your ego in order to create a new more successful image than before. No matter how much your ego becomes stronger, it always remains vulnerable by default… That is why you have to find your way to discover your inner center and keep the harmony and balance of your soul, despite what happens to you in life. According to me, the right way to do that is to view things of life beyond your ego - Who am I? The way to do that is to become aware, to remember about your real essence and nature, and do not forget that your life here is just a role. Everything that surrounds is just a game, theater, or dream. We come up with different rules, compare each other and try to prove something to other people in order to take on a certain position, or status. If you can view on that from the Cosmos above or beyond time, you would have seen how funny that is, you would realize that your life is just a little while and your role here is temporary. Whenever you feel yourself too deeply involved into that role, it happens that you often lose your balance. For instance, I play the role of Rossy. If I start suffering at a stage of my life, that is just because I completely live in that part and forgot that in fact Rossy is not Me. Yes, Rossy is a part of me, but not ALL of me. When I become aware of that, as Zealand loves to say – I get down from the “stage” and have a view on things from the “audience hall” as an observer – from the point of view of the Spirit inside me, things are totally changing for a moment. Whenever you are AWARE, you are free and independent: „The real salvation is the state of freedom – freedom from fear and pain, from the feeling of insufficiency, thus from all wishes, needs, dependency and attachments.” Echart Tole How to attain this feeling and state of unlimited freedom? Echart Tole says: „You will get at that place when you become aware that you are already there.“ The awareness is the key. You already have the freedom but you are the one who bind yourself. You may often think that only if you remove or change a trait in your character, after walking a long and hard way, you would be able to feel freedom and everything would be fine. In fact that is just a belief of your mind of your non-awareness. That is so, because at a deeper level, everything is always fine. You may have “problems” but that is only on the outside surface. Inside you, your essence, your nature is not affected. The clamor and problems are normal things of live, they are part of the hidden order and they are necessary in order to move yourself forward, step by step ahead. If you see things from this point of view, everything attains a different dimension. Of course, it is hard to be aware of yourself all the time. Sometimes, in our daily routines of life, under the pressure of various trials, we imperceptibly “fall asleep” and get into a state of non-awareness. That is exactly when life sets challenges for you, when your non-awareness comes into the world in different forms – such as fear, anger, will to defend yourself or judge other people, etc. I.e., pain, suffering, anger, need for approval, wish to defend yourself or judge others and be right are just a small checkup, that shows you where you are, they are a sign that you are in the state of the non-awareness. When you realize that you just play your role, exactly then you can control reality, to feel calmness and freedom, not depending upon other people and circumstances. Then, we can have fun while playing in this game. Of course, that does not mean that everything is meaningless and you not put your efforts and strive for something. Your role here is important, even though it is not all of your essence and nature, and it is important to play your role well and not forget that it is just a role.