How to Know Who to Coach

If you are reading this, you are open to learning. If you are open to learning, you most likely have desire to teach others as well. As coaches and teachers, we so much want to help people. We hear them mention something and suddenly we really want to share with them all of the wisdom we have gained with regards to that subject. We share all we know, and try to get them to commit to following our recommended plan of action for them. Funny, many times they are really not interested in doing that. You know, sometimes they are telling us personal things from their lives just to be able to share them. Or, they may be wanting us to agree with them. I can share with you an amazing tip on how to tell if someone you know is wanting your help with something in their life. Are you ready? Here it is: “They will ask you!”

I know, it sounds so subtle and complicated. Really, it happens just this way. We as coaches and teachers may not help people answer their questions unless they are asking us for answers. In addition, they need to be within a baby step of our answer. Most of us are wanting to grow, expand, and evolve. But for every single one of us, it all happens in baby steps. We can only take the next logical step, the baby step, on any journey. And that step must be within reach of where we are right now.

This is especially true for teens. For any of you parents of teenagers, like myself, this is absolutely positively true. And here is one very important additional thing to remember: our teens, if they do ask a question of us, are only wanting our opinion on that one finite specific topic. Do not wander or embellish, as they will quickly tune you out. But do enjoy the invitation they have given you. Celebrate whenever those opportunities come up. And don’t overstay your welcome. I wanted to make a t-shirt for my teenagers: “The I-Care-What-You-Think Club Is By Invitation Only.”
It may seem harsh, the way teens treat us, but it is a great training ground for life. In reality, all of our adult friends really feel the same way, they are just more diplomatic and polite about communicating it. But chances are, our adult friends do not desire our input or feedback or strong recommendations unless they are specifically asking for them.

So, in summary, it comes down to two things: One, they must be asking, and two, they must be within reach of our answer.

Enjoy all of this, be easy about it, relax, and don’t waste your time trying to coach someone who is not asking for your help. You know the smartest, wisest, more evolved and expanded individuals we know really don’t push their ideas or their recommendations on us. Usually we have to beg for them to voice their opinion to us.