How to Manage Your Urges to Call Her During No Contact

If you’ve decided to use the No Contact Rule, I can tell you’re really committed to healing yourself over the long run and finding a rewarding relationship with your ex or with someone else.

But how do you keep those urges to do things you know you just shouldn’t do at bay? What can you do when you feel your hand taking on a life of its own and reaching for the telephone?

Here are a few ideas:

First, keep yourself busy. We feel the most powerful urges to contact our ex when we are alone with our thoughts, such as when we’re falling asleep at night or when we’re doing something tedious and repetitive at work.

You might not be able to get around going to work or falling asleep, but you can minimize these idle moments when your mind drifts back to “her.” Start by doing things that actively involve your mind, like learning a new language, playing an action packed sport, like soccer, or just having fun with your friends joking about the good old days.

This keeps your mind actively engaged in the present moment so that it can’t drift back to your ex. This works great for keeping your thoughts from driving you crazy.

Second, work on making your life something you can feel excited about with or without your ex.

I know that you probably feel down in the dumps about life right now. That’s normal following a break up, but you don’t need to stay there. Find things that you can be excited about in your life.

Set goals and work toward making them your reality. As you start to make progress toward your goals, you’ll naturally feel more self-confidence and more self-esteem.

This will only make you feel better and better about yourself. I know a lot of people, myself included, usually feel pretty low after a break up, so doing things like this will help you realize that you actually do have a lot going on in your life and that you can turn this experience into something truly positive no matter what ends up happening between your ex and you.

Remember that you don’t have to make your break up more difficult than it needs to be. Use these tips to help you keep yourself from focusing on the negative feelings that just flood your mind after the break up.