How to Master Your Fears – Part 2

What are your biggest fears in life, those that are stopping you from moving forward? What would it mean to you if you knew how to successfully overcome those fears? In my previous article, we looked at what fear is, the difference between real and imagined fear and what that means for you. What I am going to do today is show you how you can overcome your fears, now that you understand that your fears don’t need to hold you back.

Everyone feels fear but there is a difference, successful people don’t let fear hold them back while unsuccessful people do. What do you choose? The first step is to confront your fears and commit to taking the necessary steps to overcome them. Use fear as an opportunity for growth and you will see how quickly your fears will start to diminish in that area.

Here are some ideas on how you can overcome your fear.

1. Change your wiring: This is the wiring between neurons in your brain and this makes you who you are, the way you think and behave. Imagine you are told that you have to take a business trip and you absolutely hate flying. What are your immediate thoughts when you are told you need to do something you fear? Do your thoughts support you? A non supportive thought would be ‘Oh no, I’m going to die, I have to avoid this at all costs…’ followed by a lot of panic and most likely, an accelerated heart beat.

On the other hand, a supportive thought would be ‘ok, I don’t like flying but I know it is all in my mind, it is very safe …I will use this as an opportunity to overcome flying, everything will be ok’ and so on…can you see the difference? If your wiring is not supporting you, you need to change it.

We are now only learning about our minds and the influence of our thoughts, just how powerful and impactful they are in our lives. It is not easy to change your wiring but to say that changing limiting thoughts will transform your life, is an understatement.

2. Deeper understanding: Most of the time we only think about the worst that can happen and we focus on the worst as if it will be our reality. An essential exercise to do when you fear something is gain a deeper understanding around the fear. What normally happens is we don’t actually go as far as understanding the impact of the ‘worst that can happen’.

When you fear something, ask yourself, what is the ultimate worst that can happen, then consider, if that does happen, what does that mean? You will most likely find that the worst is not actually the worst, you will still survive. Next, think about all the positive consequences? Once you are able to look at it from those two perspectives and weigh your options, you will most likely find that 99% of the time, the best far outweighs the worst, and the worst is not so bad at all.

When we feeling fearful, we are not in the right frame of mind to put the situation in perspective, but that is the key, it is actually because the situation is not in perspective, that it is so scary!

3. Visualizing: This is such a powerful technique because if you do not know or you can’t imagine how something will be, it will most likely feel a little scary. It is the fear of the unknown.

Think about a new event that you are attending, you might be feeling a little anxious or apprehensive because you have no clue how it will be, who will be there, etc but if you had an idea in your mind before, you probably wouldn’t feel so anxious. It is the same thing with your fears, if you are able to visualize the outcome you want, you will feel more confident than fearing the outcome you don’t want.

You might not realize, but when you are focused on the worst outcome, you might have an image connected to that and that is visualizing. If you can imagine it, you can create it. In fact, your life as it is now is mainly the outcome of what you've visualized in the past.

4. Talking: Another great way to deal with fears is to talk about it, talk to your friends, your family, and colleagues, anyone who will listen. When we talk about our feelings, we gain a deeper understanding by verbalizing them, we feel better because we are getting our emotions out, releasing them. When talking about your fears, you might also find that the other person has once had the same fears and can give you great advice.

Talking allows you to open your mind, become aware and deal with your emotions more effectively, it helps you to understand how you really feel.

Those are some simple ways you can start to work towards your fear. Your fears essentially drive your beliefs, your habits and behaviour, in other words, your results. Are you getting the results you want in life? If not, why? Are your fears playing a key role, are they driving your behaviour and controlling you?

Fear really shouldn’t be something that is avoided at all costs but rather an opportunity for growth. You are going to feel fear at different stages in your life, but you must move forward in spite of fear, realize that you are bigger than your fear, not smaller!

To Your Success!

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