How to Overcome Insecurity in a Relationship

Maybe it’s you or maybe it’s your partner. Either way, there is some serious insecurity in your relationship and it may even be at the point of threatening to tear your relationship apart. How can you go about rebuilding trust and a strong foundation for your relationship to blossom and grow? First, understand that it is completely normal to feel insecure or not quite ready to trust in a relationship when you have been hurt in the past. This, however, doesn’t mean that insecurity isn’t going to threaten to destroy your relationship. What it all really boils down to is trust. Insecurity stems of a lack of trust, whether real or imagined. The way to overcome insecurity in a relationship is to rebuild the trust. Trust takes time to build, as I’m sure you’ve heard from other sources. But what you may not have heard is that transparency is the key to building trust in a relationship. What is transparency and how can you use it to end insecurity in a relationship? Well, when you break it down, transparency is simply just being completely open and honest with your partner about what you are doing and what they can expect from you. If a lack of trust comes from veiled intentions and untold actions, then transparency comes from bringing everything into the light. Transparency means calling ahead to let your spouse know that you will be working late. Transparency means letting your partner know when you are going out to dinner to catch up with friends. Transparency means voicing your feelings and ending all the half-lies and lies of omission that straddle a shaky border between integrity and deception. This is a two-way street, so both you and your partner will have to practice transparency. If only one partner is required to act with transparency, then it becomes more of a form of punishment or humiliation, and not something that will bring the two of you together. And it will take time to really see the results you are looking for. Don’t expect an overnight miracle. Trust takes time and it will require consistent dedication by both you and your partner to stick through the initial stages while you are waiting for the results to show. To help you get started, it would be a good idea to sit down with your partner and openly discuss the feelings of insecurity in your relationship. Talk about how you both want to improve things and work together to develop a realistic code of transparency between the two of you that you both can agree to follow. The road to building trust again in your relationship may not be easy, but with consistent work and dedication by both you and your partner, you can end the feelings of insecurity. Simply practice being more open about what you both are doing and feeling in your day-to-day lives and have to perseverance to do whatever it takes to stick with it and improve your relationship.