How to say NO to people

Jane was 15 years old when she started caring for her brother and sister. She sacrificed her life for them by leaving school and working as a maid in various houses since they lost their parents. She needed the money, so she can feed herself and her siblings.

Years have past and Jane’s siblings grew and got married, while Jane stayed single. After a few years when her siblings had children, they started to call Jane to baby sit, so they can go outside on trips, restaurants, among other places to have fun. After a few years of baby sitting, Jane met a man that she likes, but wasn’t sure that she can be serious with him because she was never able to say NO to her siblings. She was more like a mother to them and dedicated her life for the care of her siblings, then their children.

Jane’s siblings also wanted everything they inherited from their parents to be in their names and wanted to give Jane nothing. At this point, Jane couldn’t keep her anger and frustration inside of her and told her siblings that they can take everything they want. She also realized that she has to make a solid decision and say NO her siblings when they ask her to baby sit for their children. At the end, she was able to go after her dreams of having a family of her own with the man she loves.

Are you like Jane? Are you afraid to say NO and do what you really want?

To learn how to say NO to people, follow the below steps:

1. Start slowly

Like any skill in life, learning to say NO can be acquired, developed and with time, you can learn to say NO and know how to reject what you don’t want to do politely. People who usually say YES to everybody get stress and pressures more than anyone else.

2. Be sure of your positio

You have got to be sure of your position. If you are not sure, this would be evident in your body language and voice and some can exploit your weakness.

3. Overcome your feelings of regret

You might be afraid that the other individual will become mad at you because you refused to do what he asked you. Saying NO doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person will get upset as many people will understand the responsibilities you have in your life. Remember, you have to take care of yourself first. After all, how can you care for someone else while you are not taking care of yourself and your needs?

4. Think of your happiness

Don’t try to make people happy at the expense of your happiness. There are times when you do some work that you don’t like, just so to please others. If you always try to please people instead of making yourself happy, then you are hurting yourself.

5. Don’t be afraid of confrontatio

Many people who have a problem with saying NO are not able to accept the idea of confrontation and want to avoid the stress that is associated with the rejection. Be brave and say NO when it is necessary.

6. Change the subject

If the person keeps insisting that you do what he wants, simply remain silent for a while until he feels that you got tired of his insistence, then change the subject. Afterwards, you can end the conversation quietly before you lose your temper and accept what he wants you to do.