How to stop Quarrel with Husband?

If you complain you will become a complainer. If anyone comes to me complaining about someone, I consider him to be a guilty party. Why has an occasion arisen for him to complain? Most complainers are usually the perpetrators. Being the wrongdoer himself, he comes to complain. If you complain, you will become the complainer and the other person will be the accused. In his eyes, you become the accuser. So never make a complaint against anyone. If the other person is multiplying the conflict by complaints and discord, you should use division and try to achieve peace by settling the matter with equanimity.

To spend time thinking about why a person caused you to hurt is a grave mistake. If you Harmony in Marriage 77 bump into a wall, why do you not get angry with the wall? Everyone that comes to collide with you is like the wall or a tree. When a cow steps on your foot, do you get angry and start fighting with it? The same should be with people also. How does the Gnani Purush forgive everyone? He knows that all the people are like the wall and the tree. They do not understand, and the one who does have the understanding will not need to be told. Those who have the understanding will immediately start their pratikraman. What do you do when your husband insults you? Do you start a claim against him? No, that is not right. Then what do you do? Do you go to bed saying, “I bless you,” or do you keep cursing him in your mind?

Generally, there is a lot of hostility from within. If a beautiful sari in a shop catches her eye, she will have a gloomy face when she comes home. You may ask yourself why she looks so unhappy. If you ask her why she is gloomy, she will tell you that she is lost in her thoughts over the sari. The only way to break the frown on her face is to buy her the sari. Until then all kinds of subtle discord will continue in the home. This is not how married life should be. The wife may say to you, “I don’t like the design of our sofas. The sofa your friend has is much nicer!” You ask, “You don’t like our sofa anymore?” She will reply “No. Since I saw the other ones, I like them better.” So now you buy her the sofa just like your friend’s. But say that your child accidentally makes a cut into the sofa and when she sees the cut, she acts as if her soul has been cut. Children will cause damage, will they not?

They even jump on the sofa, don’t they? When they jump on the sofa she may cry out like they are jumping on her chest! This is all moha (attachment). This moha will eat you alive and cause you to suffer. This whole life of yours will be wasted away on such trivial things. Now I am telling all the ladies not to go shopping. They need to put a stop to all their shopping sprees. Just because you have the money, why do you buy things if you do not need to? It is all useless. Should you not be spending the money on something worthwhile? If someone has a hardship in his family and they do not have any money, wouldn’t it be nice to give them fifty or a hundred dollars?

Why throw money away unnecessarily over things that create problems at home?