How To Talk To Girls - Five Golden Rules

Let me cut to the chase: if you don't know how to carry on a good conversation, you can forget about being awesome with girls. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don't worry - I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. Don’t worry if you don’t have a natural “gift of gab.” With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. Once you develop the core skills that I'm about to explain, you'll be ready to strike up a conversation with a girl in virtually any situation. One of the most important things to keep in mind when you talk to women is that you want to seem ORIGINAL. You shouldn't ask the same questions or use any of the same "lines" that she's heard from all the other guys. When you use these methods of "creative conversation," she'll never know what you're going to say next - and this stimulates her curosity and interest in you. This keeps her guessing, and wards off the biggest enemy and attraction-killer for a woman: Boredom. You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys. Let’s get started - here are the top 5 ways to keep a conversation moving forward: 1. Ask genuine, non-threatening questions If you're been studying PUA (Pick Up Artist) routines and language, there's a good chance that the girl you're talking to has encountered this stuff before. PUA routines have gone mainstream, and in bars and clubs around the world these routines are being overused. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) - assuming she hasn't heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever "pickup routine" in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can't maintain eye contact. All you really need to do is ask authentic questions that demonstrate that you're sincerely interested in her (and her goals, personal interests, and perhaps a "hidden talent" or passion that you can get her to reveal. A woman needs to trust and feel safe around you before she’s willing to spend more time in a conversation. Real badasses don’t rely on canned lines, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions. 2. Be perceptive, notice details, and be aware of your surroundings You'll never "run out of steam" during the conversation, and struggle to figure out what to say next, if you pay attention to the environment you're in -- and the people, places and things around you. . It’s a rare man who actually does this, and it’s a very attractive trait to women. You don't ever want to her to suspect that you have an agenda, and that you're TRYING to use lines or routines to trick her into "liking" you. Don't underestimate the power of the female "B.S. detector," which is hard-wired into them. (This is especially true with very attractive women, who have a ton of experience with talking to men and can spot a phony a mile away.) If she feels that you're not being truthful, or that you're trying to manipulate her into hooking up with you, it's game over. 3. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light Women generally worry about small things more than men do. At any given time, you can assume that a girl has at least one thing on her mind that is causing her stress. As long as you can keep her smiling and having fun, so that she forgets about her other worries, you'll be a guy she wants to hang out with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne -- these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. A woman will follow your social lead, based on how you come across and make her feel. Women like being around guys who make them feel safe and secure - and you can do this by staying calm, cool and relaxed. 4. Listen actively (being a good listener can be even MORE important than knowing what to say next) Observe the interactions between guys and girls the next time you're hanging out in a bar or club. You'll notice that in most cases, the guy does most of the talking -- usually in an effort to impress her. But the conversation game isn't won by being the smoothest talker, or trying to "earn points" by bragging about who you know, the car you drive, the money you make, etc. It's also about being an attentive listener. Being a great listener might not come naturally to you, especially if you're an outgoing guy with a good sense of humor, who is used to being the center of attention when you're hanging out with your buddies. Even if you have to bite your tongue waiting for someone to finish their thought or ideas, do it. People like other people who let them talk, and women will respect and appreciate you more. This also takes some of the burden off of you when you're conversing with women. Instead of constantly trying to dominate the conversation and talking about yourself, ask her a thought-provoking question (check out the Mack Tactics book to learn some of these, especially the chapter on "Hypotheticals") and then listen and appreciate what she has to say. 5. Stay in the moment and always be "present" (not distracted) As guys, we think about a lot of things: The idiot that cut us off in traffic… what time tonight’s game starts… or what band is playing this weekend - and we don’t focus on the person or situation right in front of us. If you're the type of guy who gets anxious or tongue-tied around hot girls, you might allow your thoughts to drift all over the place ("Does this girl like me?" "What if she has a boyfriend?" "Do I sound like a total dork?" Etc.). When this happens, and you allow your own "mental traffic" to distract you, you won't be focused on the present moment. This means that even though you might be standing right in front her, you are not truly "present." And when women sense this, it's a big turn-off. A female friend of mine said: “Being present is EVERYTHING.” This means you’re truly engaged in a conversation, contributing and giving genuine feedback. Don't behave like most guys do -- nodding your head like a brainless "bobble head" doll and simply saying "uh-huh" or "yeah, totally" once in a while. You're not fooling women when you take this lazy, distracted approach to the conversation. You'll seem apathetic (i.e. you really don't care about what she's saying), or just plain clueless and socially awkward. This certainly won't score you any points with her, and she'll probably want to excuse herself from the conversation before long. Mastering the art of conversation will yield benefits beyond scoring with women. These skills are also essential for forging business relationships and making progress with your other goals. Everyone loves to be listened to and appreciated, whether it's a babe you meet at the bar, or the guy sitting across the desk from you, interviewing you for a job. Conversation is just one of the skills needed to be a badass with women. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). What you need is a thorough, comprehensive game plan which will help you go from the opening conversation, all the way to a successful seduction. And I'm not a believer in PUA routines or trying to use sneaky, manipulative tricks to attract women, since this stuff rarely works in the long run. I do believe in good, solid information that can help you become the rare man who can attract - and keep - a quality woman in your life.