Many of my customers and students have questions on
what to talk about with a girl, and how to talk to women in a way that generates attraction. The bottom line is, they want to find out what they can say to make women feel turned on. However, the first thing these guys need to study is what type of talk turns girls OFF.
To put it bluntly, women are turned off by men who across as “needy.” Most men don’t realize that they are coming across “needy” when talking to a woman. But the women picks up on it quickly. It's obvious to women when you are trying to impress them. The reality is that when a girl gets the sense that you're trying to impress her, it has the opposite effect -- it actually turns her off, because you're coming across as a low-value guy.
Coming across as an insecure guy is extremely unattractive. If you seem like a nervous wreck, there is simply no way she is going to feel any sexual attraction. (If anything, you're repelling her.) Women are turned on by guys who are confident and sesure with themselves. If she senses that you don’t possess those traits she will quickly lose attraction towards you.
Boring guys are also a big turn-off. If you’re talking a woman you need to know how to keep the conversation fun. If you find yourself struggling to fill awkward silences, asking her boring and predictable "interview" questions ("So where are you from?" "What do you do for fun?" etc), it's a safe bet that the girl you're talking to is going to tune out pretty quickly.
One of the major factors that will kill a woman’s attraction toward you is displaying a lack of social intelligence. Women are social creatures. And they blindly follow the social “norms.” One of the fastest ways to make a girl think you are "below" her is to seem like you have no idea what is cool or socially acceptable. Guys display a lack of social intelligence when they make stupid or inappropriate comments, fail to read the "signals" the girl is sending him, or when they keep cracking jokes that no one (except for him) finds amusing.
Look, when you consider the endless options that a pretty girl has -- and how much attention she receives from men -- you can't blame these chicks for not wanting to waste their time with a guy who is insecure, weak, needy, boring or just plain clueless. Ask yourself… do you find these sort of women attractive?
OK, now that we've covered the type of talk (and men) that turn women off, let's move on and discuss...
What type of talk turns women on?
The main thing to keep in mind is that you want to talk to girls in a way that brings out their flirty, fun and playful side. There is a song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun…” and the song is correct. This is especially true if you’re talking to a woman in a bar. More than anything else, she's there to have a good time. You must be able to flirt with a woman in a way that makes her feel like she is back on the playground with her childhood crush.
Never forget that women are driven by their emotions. You must be able to talk to women in a way that brings on an emotional state within her. You can do this by talking about emotional topics like her passions, childhood, vacations, or any other conversation topics that evoke emotion.
You need to display that you are a socially intelligent man. If she gets the sense that you've got power, status and approval within this social scene, she's going to be be automatically interested in you. It's just how this stuff works! Like I said earlier, women are social creatures, and when they meet you and talk to you they're looking for cues as to your social status. (Are you higher than her, which means you can possibly improve her status? Or are you lower, in which case she will LOSE status by being associated with you?) The great part is that you don’t necessarily have to have any of these. You just need to make her THINK you have these qualities, by talking to her in a way that conveys confidence and self-assuredness. One of the keys is to talk to women in a way that suggests you have slight "social superiority," without coming off as arrogant. It's a rule of human nature: if a girl feels that you're slightly above them on the social ladder, they're going to want to "hitch their cart" to you and be a part of your world.
==>For a CHEAT SHEET of lines to say, click here.
You have to talk to her in a way that brings out her sexual side. The fact is, you can be having the greatest conversation in the world about a topic like “health food” but it will rarely lead to attraction. In order to talk to a woman in a way that leads to sexual attraction you must not be scared to talk about things on a more intimate level. This doesn’t mean you talk about sex… but it does mean that you don’t shy away from personal and intimate topics. The right topics will create a sense of "deep rapport" (where she feels bonded to you), and when that happens, it's easy to move into the seduction phase.
Most guys don’t know how to carry a conversation with a woman, or talk to her in a way that makes her feel attraction to you. The vast majority of men are flat-out boring, or convey so much insecurity that women want to get away from them as fast as possible.
I know this because I've coached hundreds of guys on how to get better with girls. I've seen how badly most of them "freeze up" when they have an opportunity to talk to a really hot girl. Some guys don't freeze up, and are able to start the conversation -- but they come across as boring, needy or insecure. They might as well have kept their mouths shut, because they don't stand a chance.
Women expect a man to be able to LEAD a conversation in a fun, flirty, and sexy way. Remember, she wants to feel SECURE and COMFORTABLE with you, which starts with you being comfortable with yourself and the situation. She feeds off of your energy. Then, if you can make her smile and laugh, you're golden.
==>For a CHEAT SHEET of lines to say, click here.
You will be massively successful with women if you learn to talk to them in a way that makes them feel safe, secure and SEXY when they're hanging out with you...and during this conversation (which you are in firm control of), the sexual tension is building beneath the surface. At that point, it's about escalating (verbally AND physically) and knowing the right moment to give her the first kiss...