How to Win Friends and Influence People in 4 Easy Steps

The world is full of potential friends for you. You just have to meet them and make them feel that they like you. You’ve got to like them too, of course. Friendship is a two-way street and you have to believe that you are a likeable person that people will want to get to know. It doesn’t matter if you’re not fashionable, beautiful or smart; you can win friends and influence people and here is how you do it.

1. Like yourself

That can be easier said than done at times, but try it. Find one thing you like about yourself and let it make you smile. Smiling at people makes them feel important and everyone likes to feel important. Then keep smiling. People who smile more are more likely to have friends because they are more likely to look friendly and like they are fun to know. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

2. Stay true to yourself

Once you’ve decided what it is that you like about yourself, keep it that way. You can adapt slightly to accommodate people; you’ll do that in all relationships. But don’t sell your soul to the devil. Don’t do things that you don’t feel are right for you. If you do, you’re selling a false bill of goods and you won’t attract the kinds of friends you want: ones you can be yourself with and with whom you can relax and have fun.

If you can be confident in your looks, your ideas and your opinions you will soon have people interested in getting to know you better.

3. Be selective about whom you consider your friends

Choose your friends carefully. Don’t be persuaded to do something you feel is wrong or which makes you feel uncomfortable, just to make friends. You want friends with roughly the same moral values as yourself, so don’t compromise them. Talk about your beliefs and ideas with potential friends and listen to their ideas but don’t sell out on what you believe.

4. Be a good listener

You liked to be listened to, don’t you? It makes you feel important and valued and like your opinion matters. Everyone does. So if you take the time to listen well, you may not only learn something new and interesting; you will be sending out the message that you are a kind and thoughtful person to know.

So now you have the right mental attitude that makes you a good potential friend – so how do you do it?

First - get out and meet some people. If you want to make friends; you first need to meet people. No matter where you live, this should be quite easy. You’re surrounded by people at school or work. Start talking to them. Even if it’s just one person who you think seems nice, to begin with.

You’ve got interests and hobbies and having those in common is what will keep a friendship strong, interesting – and fulfilling for you both. So join a club or a team in whatever your hobby is, or go to one of your hobby supply stores to meet like-minded people.

You could do some voluntary work. That way you could make friends and feel good about yourself at the same time because you will be doing something to help someone else. Devoting some unpaid time to help someone else shows you have compassion and that you care. These are two great attributes for friends to have.

So, if you want to know how to win friends and influence people, first get to like yourself and actively look for people who are similar to you so you can share interests, and then don’t forget to share so that you find out as much about them as they do about you.