The Value Of Parenting Classes

Despite the old adage that "kids don't come with instructions", any parent who actually believes this has never attended really meaningful parenting classes or read any of the great books or checked out any of the great websites on child behavior and development.

While not all parenting classes, books and websites are worthwhile, some do present essential insights and invaluable tips for parents that can make a huge difference in raising kids.

Parenting classes based on the work of Dr. Maria Montessori and Dr. Alice Miller are most likely to prove useful. By studying the writings of these great visionaries of child development I personally gained invaluable parenting help.

I have been avidly studying child behavior and development and professionally working with parents and their children for over 25 years. Through my parenting classes I have met and, according to their feedback, helped thousands of parents around the world. In this article I will pass on two crucial elements of parent instruction that I cover in my parenting classes.
One of the surprising discoveries parents make at my parenting classes is that certain natural laws govern child behavior.

When parents work knowledgeably with those laws, instead of ignorantly against them, they enjoy more success and less stress in their parenting. No other classes on raising kids, unfortunately, present these laws, as far as I know.

The first law that I cover in my parenting classes I call "The Law of Reflection." Based on this law, children reflect those they spend time with. How you behave around children, the attitudes, emotional reaction patterns, and even the beliefs that you express program those children to reflect or repeat those in their own self-conduct.

To be as effective as possible, parenting classes need to convey how to put into practice any information they present on parenting. In the classes that I offer, I do this regarding The Law of Reflection by explaining: "Never discipline a child using a behavior you do not wish the child to repeat, because nature programs children to repeat whatever we expose them to."

This means that hitting children, yelling at them, speaking to them in harshly critical, condescending, indignant tones programs those children to hit, yell and speak belligerently. After learning this at my parenting classes parents often ask, "But what if my child does not listen? Should I just accept that?"
The answer is simple: Begin improving child behavior by improving your own behavior.

A child "not listening" is the most common complaint about kids that I hear at my parenting classes. Based on The Law of Reflection, you may begin solving that child behavior problem by recognizing how you listen poorly to your child!

Children begin communicating their needs at birth. While the form of their communication is non-verbal, it still "tells" the observant parent how the child feels. (Even when children can communicate verbally, around 75% of their communication remains non-verbal.) The child's facial expressions, body language and behavior send a message about the child's needs.
For instance, the child who talks disrespectfully to his mother may be expressing the need for his mom to be more alertly responsive when he makes requests respectfully.

Alert, aware observation reveals the underlying, non-verbal message the child is expressing. I call this practice: "parents reading their children." Based on The Law of Reflection, by being more observant and alertly responsive with our children, we program them to be more observant and alertly responsive toward us. Perhaps the most important lesson that parenting classes can offer teaches parents to deliberately practice being more alertly aware in the present moment, observing the child closely during every parent-child interaction.