I’m Just a [Insert Your Title Here] Who Can’t Say No

Whether or not you’re familiar with the song from the classic musical Oklahoma, I find that this is an applicable title in the world of today’s entrepreneur and busy executive. Macro-multitasking is just as significant a problem as the garden-variety, moment-by-moment multitasking. Macro-multitasking is the splitting of one’s attention across many different projects, businesses, ventures, causes, and even careers. In my experience, most of the people I coach are truly capable of accomplishing anything they want to achieve. They are highly talented and highly gifted in their ability to make dreams become realities for themselves and for others. However, they often sabotage themselves by trying to do too many major projects at the same time. No matter how talented a person is, he or she will always be constrained by the truth of time. The truth of time is that there are only 24 hours in a day. When those 24 hours are filled up with too many different activities, these activities always end up competing against each other, no matter how worthy they may be. People fail to understand that by saying “yes” to one thing they are by default saying “no” in a small degree to every other activity in their life. Let me offer two main categories of people who can’t say no and one suggestion to help those in each of those categories: 1. Can’t say no to others - Some of the nicest and most selfless people that I’ve met are successful business owners and executives. People often approach these business leaders and ask for help. And, more often than not, they selflessly donate their time. However, when business leaders spread themselves across too many causes they fragment their attention in every other area of their life. Instead of being of service, they end up shortchanging themselves and others. Maintaining focus often requires the skill of saying “no” in a polite and diplomatic manner. Option: Ask for requests via e-mail. There are two main reasons why is e-mail such an effective tool to protect the person who can’t say no to others. First: it is too easy for someone to make a verbal request of the business leader in the spur of the moment. The business leader who wants to be everyone’s friend has difficulty saying no face to face to the individual, even when they know that they probably shouldn’t get involved. Asking for an email puts responsibility on the person asking for help. Very often the person asking finds another option, forgets about the request, or thinks better of it. Because of this, asking for an e-mail follow-up creates a sort of natural filter for requests. Second: when someone sends you an e-mail, it allows you to consider the request in a calm environment away from the individual. This allows you to truly think about everything you have on your schedule and give a thoughtful response. 2. Can’t say no to yourself – The classic serial entrepreneur has great difficulty limiting himself or herself to the project at hand. These business leaders are constantly spinning new ideas and new ventures and seeing opportunities around every corner. While these opportunities may be valid, they are not valid all at the same time. The truth of time limits their ability to act on all of their desires. The entrepreneurial type has to recognize that they are causing these problems for themselves when they undertake too many projects simultaneously. Option: Store ideas away for review. When new ideas come to mind, ignoring them is neither a practical nor profitable option. However, neither is taking immediate action on every single “next big idea.” Instead, store those ideas away in a specific location or “home” set aside for just those ideas. Part of my personal system is to store these ideas as Tasks in a specially-created “Perhaps” category in my task list. But storing them away isn’t enough. By implementing a system of regular review, you allow yourself to put off but not forget great ideas. Set a recurring appointment with yourself monthly, quarterly, or annually to review the list and decide if it is now the right time to embark on a new adventure.