I Don't Want To Be Married To My Husband Anymore: How Do You Know If You Want A Divorce

I Don't Want To Be Married To My Husband Anymore: How Do You Know If You Want A Divorce At first glance, marriage is a good thing. You meet someone incredible, fall in love, get married and build a life together. You've now got a best friend, committed lover, and life partner all rolled into one. Sounds perfect, doesn't it? But what happens when the person you thought you married ends up being someone completely different (they always will, by the way)? What do you do when years go by and instead of living in excited anticipation of your spouse's arrival home, you find yourself wishing they'd just go away? You didn't know that person on your wedding day the way you know that person now. It never occurred to you that he or she could be selfish, inconsiderate, critical, judgmental, lazy, cold or any of the other five hundred things you've put on your "I don't like this marriage" list. Nonetheless, here you are and here that person is and you're stuck like glue together in a marriage you never signed up for and that's your story and you're sticking to it. With that story, who wouldn't want a divorce? So now I'm going to ask you to do something really big and really brave: stop telling that story, just for the next five to ten minutes, until you finish reading this article. Let's wipe the slate clean and start fresh, right here, right now. Grab a sheet of paper and, at the top, write the following: "Today is..." Write what day it is (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.). Ask yourself, "Is this true?" Now, I want you to notice how many stories your mind begins to come up with as you think more about the statement "Today is..." For example, if it's Monday, you might say "Today is Monday" and then your mind runs wild with it by adding things like: "Start of the work week." "So much to do." "Where'd the weekend go?" "Manic Monday." "The week is so long." "I hate Mondays." The truth of the matter is, "Today is Monday" and that's it. What makes you unhappy or displeases you about it being Monday is not the fact that it's Monday, but the thoughts you attach to the fact that it's Monday. What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse? To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here! What if you erased all those other thoughts and just accepted the simple truth that "Today is Monday..." Wouldn't Monday feel so much better? Now, you might be saying, "Thanks for all the psychobabble but how does this relate to me deciding whether or not I should get divorced?" Here's my answer:rnYou've created a story in your own mind about why your marriage is over and you've invested completely in the idea that this marriage is imperfect, flawed, and beyond repair. You're also invested in blaming your spouse for not being who he/she said he/she was. Right now, you are holding onto that story for dear life because it makes you right. What you don't realize is that this story also makes you suffer. If your marriage is a failure and you're in it, what does that make you? If you married someone who turned out to be a complete and total liar, what does that say about your own judgment? If your happiness is based on your spouse acting and being a certain way, who's in control of your happiness? It's not you. "The ego doesn't care who you blame so long as you blame someone." - Marianne Williamson What I am asking you to do, for the next 5-10 minutes, is the following:rn1) Stop replaying the story of why your marriage sucks.rn2) Put on paper, into words, why you can no longer be in the marriage. Write "I need to leave this marriage because..."rn3) Read the statement out loud and ask yourself four questions: #1- Is this true? #2- Do I absolutely know (100%) that this is true? #3- How do I react when I think this thought? #4- Who would I be without this thought? How would I live my life? Ask yourself these questions and give yourself the room and honest space to answer them. These questions come from "The Work" by Byron Katie (check out her book "Loving What Is"). The goal is not to judge your situation but to love it for what it is so you are free to choose your path from a place of love, not fear. Once you answer all four questions, turn the original statement around and live in that place for an entire week. If, after that week is over, you feel no better about your marriage, divorce is a viable option. What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time Here's how you turn the statement around: Original statement- "I need to leave this marriage because I'm miserable in it." Turn around- "I don't need to leave this marriage because I'm not miserable in it. I control what I think and feel and I choose joy" or "I don't need to leave this marriage because I'm miserable in it. I can find a way to be happy on my own." Whatever you turn it around to be, it must be a positive reflection of your own ability to enjoy your life. Your enjoyment of life has nothing to do with your spouse. He or she can only make your life a living hell if you think this person can and take in his or her actions in a way that tells that story. Believing that your spouse has the power to ruin your life is like saying food makes you fat. It's simply not true until you take the thought, believe its power and live out the self-fulfilling prophecy through your own actions... but it's still all you. If you love your spouse but can't stand being around them, turn it around. Original statement- "I hate being around my spouse." Ask the four questions. Turn it around- "I don't hate being around my spouse. I can have fun wherever I am and whoever I'm with because it's my life and I'm fun." Doesn't just reading the new statement make you feel better? Bottom line: Before you can make the divorce decision, you need to take your personal power back and be in control of your own peace and joy. If you don't, the suffering you feel now will be repeated with every other relationship you come across, married or not. Before you end the marriage, give up the story and love life for what it is. Then and only then will you have the power to make the best choice for you. Pay Close Attention Here- Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here Considering Divorce? Whoa! Put the Brakes on and Consider How to Save a Marriage! rnThere was a song by Sheryl Crow on her first album. It was called, "No One Said it Would Be Easy." For anyone who has seen a rough spot or two in his or her marriage, relating to the lyrics in the song should be easy for you. Walking down the aisle, you have the best of intentions, your spouse and you. To have and to hold, for richer or poorer and in sickness or in health are the vows you exchanged and you sure did intend on keeping them. But people change, lives change and suddenly you aren't the same two people who promised to stay together till death do you part. The breaking point comes for people for different reasons. Cheating, alcohol, gambling, how to raise the kids, loss of job or meddlesome in-laws are just some of the reasons people consider separation. All too easily people are ready to use the D word! Before you do something you regret for the rest of your life, why not consider how to save a marriage? I am Right! No! I am Right! I Am Hurt More Than You Are! Does this sound like a fight between two first graders? Well, it's a typical argument between two adults who are at their wit's end. Having to get the last word in, arguing when there's no longer anything to argue about and each of you playing the endless violin to the tune of who's hurt more is getting old isn't it? Stop fighting and starting thinking of ways to save a marriage! It sounds silly, it's true but it's not! It is your marriage after all, not playing with your first grade friends in the sandbox. Do you really want to leave your kids with no solid home, two sets of keys and worrying that they were the cause of your break up? There's a whole lot to consider here and ways to save a marriage are all within your reach. What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back. Maybe you think to yourself, "I am not about saving my marriage! How to save a marriage? I want out of it!" And that's all fine, but apart from ruining your kids' lives, have you stopped to think about yours? Pride makes us do incredibly stupid things. In the time it takes to argue things out, get lawyers and feel vindicated, you could actually instead be learning how to save a marriage. Nobody Said It Would Be Easy The song is right! Nobody said it would be easy to learn how to save a marriage. It takes work especially when there are past hurts and pain to work through. But once you come out the other end, you are stronger as individuals and as a couple. But anything, such as "saving my marriage" that is worth having, is worth working toward. Will painful things be brought up as you are working on ways to save a marriage? Absolutely! Will it sometimes feel like it's not worth moving forward with learning how to save a marriage? Any therapist would be lying if he or she said no. But, for all the pain you will work through, for all the discoveries you will make about yourself and your spouse, finding ways to save a marriage will not only save your marriage but also make you amazing role models to your kids. You may even be examples of what a really healthy marriage is supposed to look like. Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to! Save your marriage now and visit Save The Marriage If you find that your marriage is on the rocks and you don't know how to approach saving it, then you will want to read some of these tips in order to gain a better understanding of how the dynamics of a healthy relationship work and what you can do to save yours from ending in divorce. Too many couples turn to divorce as a way to resolve their issues, but nothing really gets resolved and ultimately it causes a lot of unnecessary pain for both people involved. While there may be many issues that you need to work on with your spouse, first we're going to discuss what you must do before you sit down to get those issues worked out. If you think you are a good listener and communicator, you might want to check again to be sure. Most people aren't as good at talking and listening to another person as they think they are. By this I mean that when most people listen to another person in a conversation they are just waiting for their chance to speak and say whatever is on their mind. Doing this takes away from your ability to listen effectively, so when it's your turn to speak you don't have a full understanding of what the other person actually said, so start listening, not just hearing. As far as speaking goes, you need to be a good communicator when working out your issues with your spouse. This means being able to clearly communicate and bring across what you are thinking and feeling, not leaving any room for interpretation. Often times when people do this, the other person assumes incorrectly and that is how trouble starts. If you have any questions or concerns about something your partner says when discussing a problem or issue with you, do not hesitate to ask them to explain further. You might just be surprised at how effective this can be when trying to save your marriage. Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.