I Killed My Dog!

"I killed my dog..." the grieving voice said over the phone to me.

"I killed her."

The words hung in the air.

Her little dog, a terrier mix named Sophie, suffered from a collapsed trachea and at 17 there was not much more that the doctors could do. Multiple surgeries could not correct the problems Sophie faced. The decision was hers to make, they told her. It was time for her to say goodbye.

The grieving mom took her baby home as she could not bear the pain of ending the life of her best friend and companion. She could just not get herself to make that horrible decision.

So she brought Sophie home to contemplate this huge decision. She just couldn't do it, she couldn't bring herself to leave Sophie there at the vet's office. Sophie had been her life and her best friend for over 17 years.

Not knowing how much time they had left to share together, she thought it would be nice to offer Sophie a treat. So she gave her some canned food, her favorite kind. The dog had been on a strict diet eating only baby food due to her medical condition and this, her mom thought, would be a welcomed treat.

She offered the canned food to Sophie only 30 minutes or so after returning from the vet's office. The shaky little dog began to eat the wonderful treat immediately when suddenly something went terribly wrong.

Sophie ate the food too fast, or too much at once, and it got caught in her throat.

Her mom tried desperately to remove the lodged food but to no avail. Gasping for air, Sophie's life came to an end cradled in her mom's arms.

"If only I had fed her baby food, this never would have happened," came the choked response, "I did this to her."

I consoled this grieving mom and listened as she cried till no more tears came. When she had calmed down, I connected with the
Sophie and I was amazed at how brilliant her energy was. It had just been a fews days since her passing. She was bright, energetic and showing off to me how mobile and flexible she was.

When I asked Sophie if she had a message for her mom, she simply replied, "Mom, it was not of your timing."

The words took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to hear that. I repeated the words to this grief stricken mom as she cried softly on the other end of the phone.

It was not of your timing.

Sometimes we think that we are responsible for our animal's passing, either we didn't get them to the doctor soon enough, or we hesitated on a surgery or procedure. Sometimes we blame ourselves for taking the life of our very best friend when in reality we are not the ones responsible at all.

Of course we play a large part in the roles we have with our animals but as the session continued it was clear to me that this little dog was ready to transition to the 'Other Side'. She wanted to be released from a body that had been failing her for years. Sophie didn't consciously or knowingly choke herself, but the Universe acted out as to what needed to happen.

This mom could not make the decision to end her dog's life so the Universe and Sophie made the decision for her. She was ready to go, to move forward as life does not end with death.

It will take a long time, perhaps many months for this grieving mom to work through her loss but the message was very clear....it was not of your timing.

If you have had something like this happen to you think about it for a moment.

Did you ever intentionally try to harm your animal?

Did you set out to cause the end of their life?

No, of course not. You did everything you could or you did your best and sometimes the rest is not up to us.

When you come from a place of love in your heart it is never your fault when an animal dies. You did not do this to your animal friend. There are many other things taking place and sometimes for the purposes of soul growth we have to experience painful or traumatic situations.

Holding on to guilt is something I have done myself. I felt responsible for the death of a stray cat when I was 8. I wrote about this story in my book, "Hear All Creatures, The Journey of an Animal Communicator". I carried this guilt around with me for over 35 years. When I finally reconnected with that cat's energy I found out that I had nothing to do with his passing, in fact it was purposeful. For me! That cat's energy was meant to return to me later in my life and chose that moment to exit. (pass away)

It was a very huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

I hear from so many people that they have experienced the same kind of guilt.

I want to challenge you to open your heart to those painful memories again, let yourself go back to that moment in time. Then ask yourself if you really, honestly set out to harm that animal in any way.

I'm sure you will see just like I did that you did not intend to harm them. Forgiving myself for that stray cat's death took me over 35 years. I hope that you can look into your heart just like the grieving mom in this story, and forgive yourself too.

It is not of your timing.

I bid you peace.