I Want To Live Separately From My Husband: Staying Married and Living Apart
With employment opportunities available in many parts of the world for skilled and highly qualified people, the urge for men and women to work overseas is so great these days. It is for this very reason that many married couples need to live apart.
It may not enough for one spouse, especially the breadwinner, to stay put in the area where they live and just work with a meager salary. People who have a family to support and who want to make advancements in their career most often hunger for greener pastures. Other than for themselves, they can sacrifice and be away from their loved ones in order to earn the income that they desire and give their families a better future.
But being apart should not be reason for the spouses to be complacent in their marriage. Communication still plays a key role in sustaining a strong marital bond. Keeping in touch with each other constantly will continue to make both spouses feel valued.
Communication in a long distance relationship should not be a major problem today what with the various forms of communication now available to people. Whether it's through text messages, online chat by voice or video, emails and phone calls, both the husband and the wife need to stay in touch to update each other on what they've been through and what they're going through.
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In addition to these latest forms of communication, though, the traditional way of sending a mail by post is still very much possible. For some people, receiving a real greeting card or letter or even a small gift from a loved one who's miles away gives them a different feeling. At least while they're away, they can still feel the love and care of their families.
For a married couple who gets separated for the first time due to work assignment in another place or country, it can be hard on the wife to live alone. It's understandable especially for many wives who have a mindset that marriage means being always together with their husbands. But with children around, the loneliness may surely be lessened. And with a strong support system from the wife's family or from the husband's family as well as their friends, moving on with life will be much easier without the physical presence of the husband.
What counts is the regular communication. Marriage counselors have always pointed out the need for couples to create an open communication line whether they're in the same place or miles away from each other. This is to be able to share each other's views, feelings and issues that may crop up. Sometimes when one spouse gets lonely, just hearing the voice of the other partner can already provide a big relief. Or seeing each other briefly on the internet via video chat can ease the loneliness.
But then again for spouses in a long distance relationship who are on the verge of depression, they can always seek the help of marriage counselors. At least with a professional advice, they will be properly guided on what to do and what not to do.
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For the most part, it is often the lack of communication between the two partners that causes a marriage to fail. But aside from lack of communication, there are several other things that couples need to avoid in order to save the marriage from falling apart. So read on to find out the four most common reasons why couples ended up with divorce, and learn how to avoid such situation, so as to keep the marriage from being broken.
Lack of Communication
As what I have mentioned from the start, it is often the lack of communication that causes a relationship to fail. If none of you are open to each other, then do not expect your relationship to last longer. It is very important that you and your partner should allot some of your time each day to talk about things, and of course, to discuss every aspect of your marriage life openly.
Personality Problems
Each person in this world is unique, for each of us has personalities that are totally different from one another. Therefore, it is understood that the person you married has a personality trait that is totally different from you, which you must learn to live with because that is how he is, and you can no longer change him into someone you want him to be. So before you ever decide to marry your partner, make sure that you get to know him well and ask yourself if you can handle the kind of personality he has.
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Financial Problems
Every day, we would often hear stories of marriages and friendships that are falling apart due to problems concerning money. For couples, financial issues such as who will pay for the bills and debts, as well as the spending habits of one another could really jeopardize their married life. The best way to resolve these issues is to have an open communication with your partner so you will be able to help each other in resolving issues concerning money, instead of fighting about it.
Intimacy Problems
They say that intimacy or sex life is an important aspect of marriage, which is also another reason why it is one of the most common marriage problems. Every marriage requires the couple to be more intimate with each other by means of sexual intercourse, because failure to consummate such sexual needs could lead to the downfall of marriage. Therefore, you must learn to be sensitive with your partner's sexual needs in order to save your marriage from falling apart.
Now that you knew the four most common relationship problems that cause a marriage to fail, it's about time that you look for ways on how you could avoid such things and resolve whatever issues you have with your partner. Remember, these are only four of the hundreds of problems that a married couple are bound to face within their married life. So make sure that you are ready to face whatever issues you will be faced within the future, if you want your marriage life to end up a success.
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There are many reasons why marriages fail in today's world. Some reasons leave no choice while others are escapists, but the bottom line remains that statistics regarding divorce are not showing favorable trends. All over the world, divorce rate is growing which leaves many people trying to figure out why.
Divorce is easy when things get extremely tough, and therefore can be the first choice when trouble rocks the marital boat. Why bother to find out how to save a marriage when divorce can get rid of all the problems?
Three Fool Proof Steps on How To Save A Marriage
You can prevent a divorce no matter what stage your marriage is in today. Here are three fool proof steps towards restoring marital bliss.
How To Save A Marriage - Step One: Open Dialogue
Nine out of ten marriages go on the verge of complete break up because the spouses stop communicating with each other. By communication, it is not meant the day to day unimportant conversation, but the deeper sharing of feelings, expectations, dreams and fears. This to be there between husband and wife. The more guarded these personal feelings become, the further you go from your spouse. Therefore, the first step on how to save a marriage is to open dialogue.
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How To Save A Marriage -Step Two: Spend Quality Time Together
Many couples groan at this suggestion saying that there is absolutely no time for themselves with a career, home and children to handle and juggle on a daily basis. Parenting is after all a full time job without any off-days. However, spending time together is very important. Communication normally shuts down because there is no "right" time to talk about something serious and so you put it off for when that "right" time comes. With every postponement you grow self-reliant emotionally and a day would come when you find you do not need to talk with your spouse any longer.
This is why you need to make time - it doesn't even have to be anything special. Just keep two hours over the weekend for each other and go for dinner together or for a cup of coffee and update each other about everything that is going on in your life. Marriage is all about sharing, interdependency and valuing each other's opinions.
How To Save A Marriage - Step Three: Pay Attention To The Sexual Side Of The Relationship
Sex is very important in a marriage, so don't lead yourself to believe it is not. If you don't look forward to make love with one another, if sex has become a routine task rather than a peppy adventure, it is time you take a close look and find out ways to improve it. Make sex something you look forward to. Work together about what turns your spouse on and put in all efforts to make it grand! It will be well worth the effort.
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When two people come together in matrimony, they swear to love each other and keep the marriage alive. For this to happen there needs to be ties that are unbreakable. Marriage bonds should therefore very tight for the union to take on the world and live to be strong enough to survive. Marriage bonds have to be created and strengthened over the years. For this reason, you need to have the right information to enable you power your relationship and take it to the next level. The following are good ways to ensure that marriage bonds are established and promoted.
First, you need to spend time together with your spouse. I know people say that spending too much time can be for your detriment. There is nothing further from the truth and, it is only logical. The more time you spend with someone, the more you get to know them. You learn their weaknesses and their strengths. If you have a lot of wisdom in this regard, you will not be disappointed. You will find that your bond grows. You can do many activities together that will bring you close together. For example, you can plan a get away just the two of you.
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To strengthen your bond, you have to be respectful to each other. This is a thing that you will find very uncommon to couples who have been together for a long time. It is the willingness to show your partner that you care no matter how many years you are together. Respect is best reflected when you are talking to him or her. There should always be a respect that other people can recognize. The people around you will comment on what they see and hear and, they will definitely admire your union. Therefore, strive to be the kind of person who wants other people to admire you. This is the best way to strengthen your union. The other thing you can do is to temper your words and actions with forgiveness. The truth is, most people in relationships will do certain things to annoy each other. It is for this reason that forgiveness is important. Many who have been married for many years will tell you that forgiveness is always paramount when it comes to marriage and often very necessary.
Continue doing things that you did when you first got married. Many use songs, movies, poems, wine and so many other things to remind them of when they first met. There are so many memories that you need to keep close because they have a way of bringing harmony to your life. It is pretty exciting to bring back some moments from back in time. This will inspire you to create new memories that you can be proud of. It is paramount also to deal with problems as they come. There are couples who choose to bury their heads under the sand. If not resolved, problems only become worse. This is the secret that many do not realize until it is too late. Always take your time to make rush decisions, give dialogue a chance and most of all have a good attitude towards your union; your bond will be unshakable.
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