I WANTED TO SAY NO

I am sharing this post as a mom and a coach, mostly because so many moms I spoke to this weekend have trouble saying "No".

I wanted to say, "No"

The request, "Mom, please attend the state track meet." For me, it included, "Mommy, this is my last state track meet. My last meet ever."

My daughter asked with care and her tone left room for me to say no. Believe me, I thought about it. I wanted to say no. Why? Saying yes involved a 7 hour round trip drive to Raleigh, NC to watch my child run for approximately 45 seconds. (That was the total for two races - she is a sprinter in the 4x100 and 4x200 meter relays)

Yes, it was her last meet. She is a senior, going to college in August, so this was her last track meet - probably forever - as she does not have plans to run in college. (yay, early acceptance to Barnard)

I was feeling the weight of this as I pondered my answer. I had missed only one meet in her six year track career. She was rockin' it - qualified for states and even made team captain. My heart said, "Yes. Support her. You enjoy watching her run and excel." My mind and body said, "No way. You are risking exhaustion with the senior graduation schedule, launching two new products & services, and relocating back to NY." And, the weather predicted 50% chance of thunderstorms, which meant the meet could be cancelled at any moment.

My daughter is a great kid and would've understood, yet I was still torn. Not only because she asked, but because I truly enjoy being part of her joy - she LOVES running track. She even runs when her hamstrings ache like heck.

But my new schedule is kicking my butt. So I have vowed to say "No" unless the yes is absolutely necessary or brings irreplaceable energy and joy. This time, a "yes" served the latter, but not the former. So, it was time to check in with my retreat muse and see what she said.

I found my way to "Yes"

My retreat muse runs on ancient wisdom and intuition. She asked, "Is there a way to get a more resonant yes? Can you find a way to make this work, so even if the meet is rained out you will not feel regret or exhaustion?" I breathed with this and came up with the following, "Make it a retreat day. Time to bring back sacred Friday for real."

So, I moved things around on my schedule (this did not include clients), and made space for rest and renewal. I decided to leave early Friday versus Saturday - the only day my daughter runs. This would allow a more leisurely drive of 3.5 hours each day versus seven or more in one day. Plus, during the drive I could listen to biz improvement audios.

I also decided to include another of my passions on this trip, as I know it helps me be a more fulfilled entrepreneur. This passion is art. I planned to enjoy the experience viewing and feeling art, and capturing it with my fairly-new-camera.

As a result, day one of my trip was more rewarding than planned. The audios were enlightening and the trip to the NC Museum of Art pure joy. The new greenway art of the NC Museum Park allowed me to blend time in mother nature. A true retreat for my muse. [wish to join me as the viewer, and check out some of the pics, visit my Pinterest page]

On day two I arrived at my daughter's track meet to find the thunder and lightning had begun as I arrived, and it had them sequestered in a building not knowing if the meet would continue. Needless to say my daughter was sad she may not be able to run her last race, and hoped I was not disappointed having driven all that way for a possible cancellation. I assured her there was no issue, as we knew the weather was at risk and I had come to support and enjoy her not experience the weather. As I said this I realized that the start of the meet was little issue for me. The trip was a sure winner, as I was able to support my daughter and had planned in extra joy time.

All this to say... be clear to what you say "yes" and to what you say "no". Be comfortable saying, "No." However, if you can find a yes in your no, you will be more at ease, living without regret and energy drain, and with more joy. Blend retreat into your decisions, into your life, and enjoy the manifestations.

Does this sound familiar to you? Want to share your suggestions for when your "no" struggles with "yes"? I invite you to share in the comments below.

Wishing you peace of mind, and peace with your decisions.

Love and light,
Karen