Improve Your Conversations Skills With Open Ended Questions

One of my friends recently asked me how she should handle an upcoming lunch with her lawyer. She was worried that the lunch would become awkward if they ran out of things to talk about. I suggested she should try to mentally prepare a few general questions such as, “Do you still enjoy being a lawyer after all these years?” or “Have you worked on any interesting cases lately?” or “If you weren’t a lawyer, what would you like to be?” In many cases, you can adapt these kinds of questions to any person you are talking with. Most people will enjoy being asked about the highlights of their career and the reasons for their career choice. If they hate their career, they might enjoy talking about the career they wished they had instead. Many people enjoy talking in general terms about their families and their hobbies, and their upcoming vacations. To keep a conversation going with the use of questions, be sure to use open ended questions. Don’t just ask questions that require a “yes” or “no” response. Questions that simply require a “yes” or “no” answer can bring a conversation to a halt pretty quickly. Open ended questions require an answer that is longer and that has some thought behind it. If you need help in keeping a conversation going, then the technique of asking the other person a few open ended questions is very useful. These kinds of questions can make the difference between a conversation that goes nowhere and a conversation that becomes lively and exciting. If you closely watch talk show hosts on television while they are interviewing their various guests, you’ll notice that not all of their guests are cooperative. Not all of their guests have the gift of the gab. Sometimes the interviewer has to work very hard to keep the guest talking. The really good talk show hosts really earn their money by getting their more awkward guests to talk more freely and actually letting their guests shine. Most of the success of the talk show interviewers depends on their skilful use of questions and their ability to react in such a way that the conversation seems to flow smoothly. If you are stuck in a situation where you have to keep talking with another person, start using the trick of open ended questions to keep the other person talking longer. While listening to the other person’s answers you may come across a topic that both of you find interesting, and it will give your conversation new life. When you use open ended questions to keep a conversation going, it’s very important that you actually listen to what the other person says in response. Don’t just listen to the words, but watch for the other person’s facial and body language while they are talking. You can show your interest by nodding, letting your facial expression match the mood of the topic, and using what you hear to ask more questions. Usually you will find something in the other person’s comments that you can use as fuel to keep the conversation going. When using questions however, it’s important that you don’t overuse this wonderful tool. Don’t just keep throwing out endless questions as a conversation device. You will sound like a prosecuting attorney or a police detective. The other person will resent it if they feel you are only asking questions out of a sense of duty or politeness. Whether you are already a seasoned conversationalist, or whether you are a person who is often stuck for something to say, the use of open ended questions can greatly improve your conversation success.