Inhibitions in choosing a surrogate mother and undergoing a surrogacy cycle

Surrogacy has become the choice of many couples seeking to complete their families. Most of these couples have undergone several cycles of IVF/ICSI, without any success. Their last resort is the path of surrogacy. Nevertheless many couples fear to choose this path those it is their best choice. They have several inhibitions about surrogacy and cannot accept the fact that other women will be carrying their precious child.
They often ask doctors all sorts of queries because they are unaware what the truth is. Lots of couples have inhibitions in doing surrogacy for the below noted few reasons.
• They believe that the surrogate mother’s genetic characteristics are passed on to the child they give birth too. Hence they seek for beautiful looking women as surrogate mothers.
• Vegetarian couples want only vegetarian surrogate mothers as they fear that if the surrogate mother eats non-vegetarian food it may impact their growing child.
• Few couples want a surrogate mother that belongs to their religion or far worse their caste. The need to read their holy books and practice their faith becomes of prime importance to the couple
• Yet others fear the way the surrogate mothers are taken care of for the 9 months. They are uncomfortable both with the surrogate mother going back to her family or staying in the surrogate homes.
• Many couples feel that they want to be a part of the 9 months journey that the surrogate mother goes through hence they want her to stay with them in their accommodations.
• The major fear for many others is that the surrogate mother will be emotionally attached to the baby she is nurturing in her womb and may refuse to give up the baby to the intended parents.
All these inhibitions and fears are true and is indeed very hard to let go off these fears and plunge into the process of surrogacy. But the truths are not as same as their fears and there is a necessity that the intended couples understand these truths and not live in the dark with their ignorance.
The truth is that
• The genetic material of the mother never transpires to the child she carries. Genetic material is from the egg and sperm that is used for the surrogacy cycle. In most cases the intended parents use their own genetic material or sometimes may use an egg donor. However never will the genetic material pass on from the woman carrying the baby. Hence the requirement of her being beautiful holds no validity
• Diet habits – eating vegetarian or non-vegetarian food has no impact on the growth and development of the baby. The food is broken down to macro and micro nutrients and only that is absorbed by the fetus and is required for its development. Protein from eggs or paneer is the same.
• Religion and religious practices – it is difficult to make many intended parents understand this concept. But the truth is there is one God, He may be called by different names. It is not required that a Hindu surrogate mother may always read the Gita or a Muslim surrogate mother does Namaz 5 times a day. Faith can be shaped when the child is born and understands what religion is.
• Surrogate mothers are best taken care of in the surrogate homes. They are nurtured well, given rich nutritious food and medicines. Also since they stay with our surrogates they enjoy their 9 months. Their children come over the weekends and they also have a good break from routine house work that they would otherwise be doing.
• The last and the most important inhibition that couples have is what if the surrogate mother gets emotionally attached to the baby. We take utmost care to counsel and make the surrogate understand her responsibilities and duties towards this pregnancy and they are prepared to take up the surrogacy cycle.
So by knowing more about the truths it becomes easier for intended couples to choose their surrogate and boldly go ahead with the surrogacy cycle so as to complete their family.