Insecurity

It is the killer of many relationships. It is the killer of one's soul. Yet everyone has it to some degree. Some have it to a barely noticeable extent. Others have it to the point where it consumes their very being. This soul killer is known as insecurity.

Insecurity makes anyone unattractive. When a person gets insecure, he/she will behave in ways that are destructive to many aspects of his/her life. Insecurity does the most damage in relationships. Often times the person is more prone to jealousy, bouts of rage and loss of control. They are also prone to addictions to alcohol, and drugs.

Ultimately in the relationship, the insecure person ruins both his own and the other person's life through his antics. Often times the afflicted becomes a victim of self fulfilling prophecy. For instance, a man may act out on a thought that his woman is going to leave him. His negative behavior would often result in that happening.

Insecurity is like a nagging feeling that you are not who you should be. That nagging feeling is like a very intense itch that you can't scratch. You feel that sense of guilt about your flaws and you expect people to see the very same flaws that you see. Often times the person sees your flaws, but it isn't the same flaws that you see.

The person would often resort to over-compensation. He would try to appear more important, more competent, more agile, valuable, than he really is. This is often done through putting down of others. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however way you look at it, it backfires on him, leaving him feeling more insecure and frustrated.

These type of people also tend to get envious of other's success. Their envy often manifests as contentiousness. Often times there is a lot of backbiting, slandering. The person may also get confrontational over the smallest matters. In extreme cases he may resort to physical threats and maybe even acts of violence.

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome the problem. There are counselors, group gatherings and programs you can join. But they are optional, they are not required. Overcoming insecurity is all about soul searching. You must ask yourself why you feel and think the way you do, and what would it take to change it. Who are you? What do you want? What are you willing to do to get what you want? One example, if you are insecure over your physical appearance (overweight), you could pursue fitness to solve your problem.

What you can do is et to the root of the problem. Often times insecurity is manifested in a person as a result from a bad painful experience. The person is afraid of something, and often times they act out of fear. Ultimately, they attract the very thing to them that they are trying to avoid.

Insecurity is a very ugly affliction to have, but once you overcome it, your life will improve almost drastically at least from the inside.