Interfaith Marriages, Communication Is the Key

Nowadays, couples meet in other venues aside from their places of worship, be it in church, mosque or temple. The result is that the issue of religion will not be discussed so early and so blatantly on the first few dates until such time that a relationship has been established. By then, the couple has agreed that their different faiths will not be a hindrance in their marriage. But it may not be so for a few people in their circle of family and friends. The good news is that these are minor challenges in our multicultural society that can easily be triumphed over. Clear Communication Is the Key First off, you and your future spouse must agree on the terms of the religious service since these conditions will determine the general tone of the wedding ceremony. For example, if you are Catholic and your future spouse is Jewish, your wedding can be a mix of both religions in equal measures. Or it can lean heavily on the faith of the groom or bride for personal reasons such as either one is not a practicing believe in his/her religion anyway. The important thing is that a clear channel of communication is established from the start so that choosing the religious rites to be included in the wedding ceremony is easier. Of course, you should choose the rites more comfortable and acceptable to the other's sense of faith. For example, you can choose to have 2 officiants during the wedding with each one performing the full rites for each religion. Or you can do as many others are doing for their interfaith weddings. Your wedding ceremony can be non-denominational such that inclusive language is used for the entire wedding rite. You may also make your own wedding vows to provide for a more personalized touch. Involve the Families on Both Sides A wedding is not just about the couple. You must also include your families on both sides especially when yours are close-knit, clannish even. This way, you can lessen the disappointments, frustrations and misunderstandings that often come with disregarding either side. You want to include only the parents and siblings as well as any close family member instrumental in your relationship. Otherwise, you will be dealing with more people than you can handle in the short amount of time that you have to plan the wedding. Besides, it's your family's opinion that matters, not distant - both in terms of blood relations and geographical distance - Aunt Gertrude's sentiments. Be willing to compromise with family members. But in the end, you have to stick to your guns because it's still your wedding. Be Considerate Toward Your Guests Then there are your guests to consider. You need not ask for their opinions, naturally, especially when you have a long guest list. Not only is it inconvenient, it is impractical. Instead, you may design a program wherein certain rituals and their symbolisms are briefly explained. You will then be instrumental in their education into other cultures. In the end, it will still be your sentiments about the interfaith marriage that will matter the most. Your family and friends ought to respect your decision whatever it may be as the wedding ceremony is only the start of a marriage, not the end of the world for any one religion.