Is it the Person or the Package when looking for love….

rnI recently wrote an article raising the same questions, I inquired whether it was more important to choose a political candidate with character or a great package to offer the American people. When looking for some one to trust in our government office, do we look for the person? Or the package they have to offer? Perhaps the same questions apply in love. rnIn the end of the article and after several paragraphs of my thought process, I concluded that the package is only as good as the person carrying the package. It seemed rather simple to me when it came to our elected officials in our democratic society but when thinking about it in terms of a possible love interest I found that the area was a bit cloudy. This is why: When I was a divorced single mother of two little girls looking to start my own romantic life again, I had to ask myself what it was that was important to me in a partner. What was I looking for as far as attributes and characteristics? What kind of PERSON was I looking for and what did he have to offer all three of us? I dated a few men, all with some of the things that I was looking for, but I hadn’t found the ‘right man’ that had it all. Does having it all mean that they have all the personal attributes I was looking for as well as the things he had to offer? And if I had to chose between the two which one was more important? My answer was that I needed both. I needed the person, and the things he had to offer. I had written an article in the middle of last year highlighting the 3 P’s of dating after divorce with children. My article states that the 3 P’s that are critical in finding a life-long love are, a good parent, a good partner and a good provider. These 3 P’s incorporate the person and the package. I wanted a man that would be a loving supportive and positive parent for my girls. I wanted a man that was a partner in life with me and I wanted a man that could provide for his family. I realized through my dating experience that the more I knew about myself, the easier it was to know what I wanted from a man in my life. I also realized that the men that didn’t last in my life had one or the other, not both. The discussion and inquiry stopped there for me. It was a slam-dunk; the problem then, was whether or not I could find both in one man. I decided that even if it were nearly impossible I would not settle for less then BOTH… The first step is to know what is important. The second step is to decide what you are going to look for in a love relationship and the third step is to not settle until you find it. The man/woman doesn’t have to be perfect. He/she just has to be perfect for you.