Is Your Happiness Tied To Your Things?

It is said that people who are happy usually spend their money on experiences, rather than physical things.

Why is that? If you need a new couch then would a weekend getaway to Catalina off the coast of Califo
ia be a better choice? Well it all depends on many factors.

To start, we can look to the show "Hoarders". These people are at the extreme end of life fulfillment. They pack their houses with material things because they have mental holes. They subconsciously fill them with physical things. But as we see time and time again these physical things are not enough. They may fill that need temporarily, but they do not fill that need completely.

We all do that. We see an empty space and we have a desire to fill it. Is it nature or nurture? Is it justified to fill that space? Maybe it is better to pursue a minimal lifestyle and embrace the openness anxiety that comes with it. We can leave the clutter and look at it as a space to hold good energy. A place to show we can let go.

Instead of crawling through a dangerously filled house. We can embrace the open air spaces in our homes. Maybe we can add an accent photograph of that "sunset of the year" we experienced last year. Or maybe that one friend you met for one night and had a blast but will probably never see again.

What sounds better?

From my experience I have filled this need to consume and possess with my truck. I had a Jeep Cherokee I loved. I would always be tinkering with it. I loved spending time on it. But the thing was, I was never finished with it. I never was satisfied with the way it was. It was always in need of a new part. I needed to change something on it. Something was not right and I could never get it fixed. I didn't have the Jeep for too long though and I should have kept it much longer. https://maddigi.com/what-is-the-average-length-of-car-ownership/ is a good reason why.

I spent a lot of mental energy on this truck. I don't regret the time I spent working on it and the experiences the truck and I shared. I do miss the time wasted on useless things I would replace on the truck over time. The things that made the truck worse that could have been avoided. But we all learn differently. Some of us need to learn from our own mistakes, while other (smarter) people can learn from the mistakes of others.

So what was I doing? Why did I spend all of my energy on this truck? Was it really just about the truck? Or maybe there was something else.

The truck was a reflection of myself. I understand that I was not happy with the was I was. So I projected it onto my truck. I did not love myself. I was not good enough. My self esteem suffered because I wanted more but was spinning my wheels. A forever self-fulfilling effort to be worthless.

I looked at my truck and I had to change something on it all the time. Like my flaws I could not accept I see only the things that were wrong with the Jeep and I could not accept them as they were. Until I was perfect my truck could never be.

Where do I go from here?

Self acceptance is the first step. The last step is self love. You cannot love yourself if you do not accept yourself. Love does not mean perfection. So I must first accept myself for who I am. That was I can see my flaws and tell myself it is ok. I am human and I have to be this way because it is who I am.

What I cannot accept is being this way forever. I have to understand that I am ok to be this way and I give myself permission to be flawed. But I have to promise myself I will continue to be a better person. I won't be the best but I must strive to be the best Ryne I can be.

If I am the same person in five years ad I am today then I have failed. I have to continue to be a better person. I have to accept my flaws and measure them against my past. Am I improving myself? Or am I letting my flaws manifest and affect myself?

This self acceptance is how I get to self love. Knowing these things I will be able to understand I am not perfect and I can love my broken self.

Now my current car is not perfect. But it is a great car. I love it how it is and I will not customize anything on it. I will leave it as it currently is and only add love and affection.

It will give me experiences and joy. I will use it to explore new places and try new things. Together we will be imperfect and try to enjoy everything we come across.