Is Your Relationship Complicated?

Have you watched the movie "It's complicated"? It's a fun movie in which its stars, Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep, are as good as ever at their jobs. They play fascinating parts which are all too frequently experienced in modern daily lives.

When we watch a movie or read a novel we become absorbed in it; we identify with the characters and their situations. My imaginary world made a quantum leap backwards this week as I watched this film and then I immediately followed up this movie by winding back time to 1790, delving deeply into a Philippa Gregory novel. Inevitably all movies and novels are woven around relationships of one sort or another.

How close relationships have changed! But they are not necessarily any less complicated. One would like to think that things have got better for us, easier for us, over the years; inevitably, some relationships have, whilst others have not. As we find a way to overcome one hurdle another appears. We certainly enjoy the availability of far more creature comforts and far more freedom of choice. But that very choice is what tends to complicate matters.

Alec Baldwin plays the part of the dad of grown up children who had an affair, married the other (younger) woman, and is now dealing with younger children once again. He is back facing the situation which he did not cope well with the first time round, and is still not rising to the challenge. Now, his ex-wife is looking more attractive to him than the emotional evolution required of him in coping with a young family; he is, once more, looking to opt out.

The ex-wife's part is a "classic" too; she has spent ten years bringing up the kids, focusing on them and her career, all of the while never quite getting over her ex. But as soon as they re-ignite their old fire, she comes to realize that he is no longer a good "fit" for her. He had not evolved; she had. But the key to setting her free from him emotionally was in having the opportunity to realize this first hand.

Until that moment she had evolved because she felt she had to. He had chosen to leave her. She had just coped in her own way, focusing on moving on without him, but never feeling that she had any choice in the matter. Once she could choose, she chose wisely. She was able to do so because she had grown as a person and had the confidence and self-belief to know that she could lead a good and fulfilling life without him.

Without confidence, can you make good choices? Or, are those choices even visible to you? Good relationships require evolution as a person and the ability and desire to grow in many ways emotionally. There are both good and bad times and everything poses its challenges. Whilst bad times can be very difficult, it is sadly the good times which far more people do not have the strength of character to cope with. There really can be "too much of a good thing".

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads to build confidence and create good relationships.

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