Joe’s Top 10 “New” Years Parenting Thoughts

Joe’s Top 10 “New” Years Parenting Thoughts
by Joe Gandolfo, M.A., LPC

Another New Year. A time for personal renewal and making a change. Most people make a sincere effort to alter a behavior, which when changed, will improve one’s life. Sadly for many, the behavior change lasts only a few weeks at best. Why is this so?

It is very difficult to maintain a behavioral change if underlying thoughts and beliefs are not changed as well. Beliefs lead to thoughts, and thoughts lead to behavior. So to maintain lasting change one must examine underlying thoughts and beliefs.

I am sharing with you this month ten thoughts about parenting. Some of these thoughts may align with your current parenting behaviors and some may challenge your current parenting behaviors. Consider these thoughts with an open mind, for they may expand your thoughts and beliefs regarding parenting.

1. If you want your child or teenager to understand you, seek to understand them first. We only can receive what we give away.

2. Each child and teenager is unique, like a flower, so you must parent them uniquely as well.

3. Education is very important, no doubt, but keep in mind becoming a student is a process that unfolds uniquely for each. Hounding them daily about school and micromanaging their academic effort most often creates resistance.

4. Children and teenagers spell love this way – TIME.

5. Know that you cannot “control” your child or teenager. You can only set guidelines and rules that you hope they will follow.

6. When your child or teenager behaves in a manner that deserves some type of negative consequence, ask them what consequence they believe they deserve. In some cases you maybe surprised by their response.

7. Make sure a significant part of your focus is on the appropriate behaviors and decisions your child and teenager exhibit, and praise them for that good stuff.

8. Never forget kids will be kids, and teenagers will be teenagers – and one day they will be adults who will be adults.

9. Manage your parenting fears appropriately, and be careful not to interject your fears into them.

10. Know that the most challenging part of parenting is that children and teenagers are ALWAYS CHANGING; this requires a continually evolving and flexible parenting approach.