Article

Just Be: Do Some People Need To Learn How To Just Be?

Topic: Self-Esteem and Self ConfidenceBy Oliver JR CooperPublished Recently added
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What someone may find is that it is hard for them to take action, with this being something that they need to work on. At the same time, they may find that they are able to take action when it comes to certain areas, yet struggle in others.

Either way, it will be vital for them to do what they can to change this. They could be only too aware of the fact that their life, or part of it, won’t change unless they develop their ‘action muscle’.

Now Is the Time

If they were to look into what they can do to get into the habit of taking action and therefore, to achieve their goals, they may hear that now is the best time to do something. So as soon as they get an idea, it will be down to them to follow through with it.

This will stop their mind from getting in the way and keeping them where they are. If they were to allow this to happen, their mind would probably come up with all kinds of reasons as to why they shouldn’t do something.

An Identity

Additionally, they may hear that if they do need to think about something first, what they shouldn’t do is to spend too much time thinking about it. If they do, this part of them could stop them from doing anything.

Once they start to take action more or less straight away and no longer spend so much time deliberating, they may find that it becomes easier. Taking action will then no longer be something that they do; it will just be part of who they are.

Another Challenge

Nonetheless, while there are people that find it hard to take action, there are others that find it hard to do the opposite. For them, taking action won’t be an issue; what will be an issue is doing nothing.

Someone like this is going to know how to behave like a human doing, yet what they won’t know is how to be a human being. Due to this, they could have more in common with a machine than their fellow human beings that actually act like human beings.

On A Treadmill

From the moment that they wake up until the moment that they go to bed, it could be normal for them to be doing something. In a way, it will be as if they have been on charge all night - like an appliance - and now that it is the day, they will be able to go all day without rest.

The main difference here is that even though they behave in this way, it doesn’t mean that they won’t get tired. Still, this is not going to be enough for them to change their behaviour as they are likely to keep going regardless.

Artificial Relaxation

One may find that the only time they are able to relax is when they go on holiday or even this might not be possible. They may come to see that they need to drink or take something in order to settle down.

Living in this way is going to take a lot out of them but that doesn’t mean that the average person will realise that something is not right. One could typically be seen as someone who is living life in the right way.

An Example

The reason for this is that if someone has the need to be doing something almost all of the time, they could be successful in the material sense. One could then have a well paid job, along with a nice house and an expensive car.

Furthermore, someone who works, and works hard, is often seen as living in the right way – at least in the western world. Thus, if someone is always doing something and appears to be ‘grabbing life by the horns’, they are likely to receive a fair amount of positive feedback.

A Deeper Look

However, just because this kind of behaviour is often seen as the ideal, it doesn’t mean that it is a healthy way to life. The fact is that one is not a machine; they are a human being.

How can one truly recharge and actually take life in if they always need to be on the go? Why do they feel the need to always be doing something? Why would happen if they were to allow themselves to just be?

Running Away

Now, one could say that they need to keep going or they won’t be able to complete something/get paid, for instance. This could be true, but why have they created a life where they need to live in this way?

What they may find, that’s if they were to just do nothing, is that they start to feel very uncomfortable. This will then be a time when they come into contact with the pain in their body that they have been trying to avoid.

A Build-Up

One feeling that could come on strong is shame, with this being a feeling that causes them to feel really bad about themselves. This can show that doing things is a way for them to stop themselves from feeling really low and to feel as though they have worth.

To say that this is just a feeling might not be accurate, as a sense of being flawed could be something that has permeated their whole being. One is then not merely going to feel worthless, they will be worthless.

Awareness

This is what toxic shame does - it strips one of their inherent worth, thereby giving them the need to continually prove to themselves, and others, that they have worth. But, no matter what they achieve out there, it won’t change how they feel on the inside.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Article author

About the Author

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, one hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

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