Lasting Change Starts From Within

If you have finally had enough stress… overwhelm… over-compromise… anger and … disappointment in your life and… you’re ready to do something about it…

CONGRATULATIONS!

I remember back many years ago when I was a young boy my father would often say, “Talk’s cheap. Don’t be a talker, be a doer!” I’ll never forget those words.

I don’t remember — or maybe I choose not to remember — when I must have done a lot of talking. I must have told my parents many times that I was going to do something but actually did nothing to achieve what I said I wanted. I’m sure I’m not alone here. Can you relate to this?

So, you’re finally ready for change and you’ve committed to do whatever it takes to get the life and relationships you want. As I think back to when I was at this stage on my journey and search for my new happy life, I remember my head spinning from all the anger and frustration that had built up inside me.

Toward the end of my 23 year marriage I was blaming my now former wife for making my life so miserable! I was angry because I was losing my wife, my family, my home and some of our friends. Around that same time the health of both my parents was going downhill quickly. They were no longer able to take care of each other let alone themselves. There were other issues going on in my life that amplified my emotions and anger.

All my anger was toward everything outside of myself. It took me a while to realize this was not a winning situation. It was a loss because I finally came to the realization that I can only change me and nobody else. I was playing the “Blame Game” and it had to stop.

I stopped blaming my wife, my siblings, and my circumstances. I had enough and I really wanted to live the rest of my life happy and I wanted to be a better person to myself and to everybody else.

Where did I start and how did I focus on the first few baby steps needed for change?

If you are ready to start now, here are some tips so you too can have the life and relationships you want.

1. Notice your current thoughts around this topic of making change in your life. Is your perspective one of “I don’t deserve it” or, “No way!” or maybe “If I try and fail, I’ll be worse off.” If you are wanting change and you have negative thoughts about having what you want, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s just a matter of choosing a new and positive perspective. Try on this perspective by reading it out loud. “I only have this one life to live and I deserve to be happy, loved, acknowledged,” and whatever else you want to add on. How did it feel reading that? Do you really want it? Good. Then go on to the next tip.
2. Be grateful for what you already have. Instead of focusing on the negatives, search out the positives and focus on those.
3. Write down the one or two things you’re going to do today to make your life better and happier. You can start by not beating yourself up and congratulate yourself for taking action and making change on the inside of you first.
4. Now, take responsibility for yourself, your choices, your actions and your life. Everyday repeat tip 3; write them down and then do it.

Are you ready to give it a try? Good for you!