Leap of Faith

nIn less than an hour, my right arm was completely immobilized. I learned that I had experienced an emotional trauma. Four years and four months later, my nerve cells have almost re-grown and my frozen shoulder is almost back to normal. First I went into shock and then fear took over. What if this was it for the rest of my life? Finding the courage to stay in the present moment was monumental. Step by step, over the next four plus years, I found the help that I needed. nnSeveral days after I received that dreaded phone call, I got a call from a book distributor I had been approaching. He advised me they would take my book. They would need my book cover design in seven days¦the finished book product at the printer in four and a half months. In that moment I had a choice. Could I take the risk? Could I do it? Somewhere deep inside me I knew what I needed to do and as wild as it now seems I said, 'Yes, I'll do it'g.nnI realized immediately that I had just agreed to create a book on meaningful work with my writing arm completely immobilized. Why I knew I could do this I do not know, but make no mistake, I knew. My being physically challenged didn't seem to be a reason not to. I worked using my non-dominant left hand for my longhand notes and I changed my mouse to the left-hand side for data input. I was amazed how the legibility of my handwriting improved. One handed typing with your non-dominant hand is a challenge, period. nnEverything I did took so much more time. I had to pay attention to things I hadn't paid attention to...ever. Getting socks on was a monumental struggle, making meals a time-consuming challenge and washing my hair...completely overwhelming. To put it in perspective, think of having your dominant arm strapped tight to your side. Until you live it, it is hard to imagine how it affects your life. nnI continue to be humbled by this overwhelming experience that demonstrated for me the short distance between dependence and independence. I will never see life in exactly the same way again. Whoever I believed myself to be before this experience, the person who will emerge on the other side will be a very different Judee. nnDay by day as I move closer and closer to this new self, I realize how easy it is to become immobilized by life, squandering precious energy, lamenting the cards dealt. With energy stores thus depleted, one lacks what is needed to engage in a life fully lived. nnStepping into this life-changing event allowed me to experience how immensely creative one can be in a time of crisis...to understand that even when immobilized, some part works. The lesson seems to be, find what works and move. Don't get stuck and don't settle, for it is in the moving that we advance our vision and create the hope we need to sustain ourselves...especially in the tough times. This and the six years preceding this event, could have easily shut me down and taken me to that place that says 'this is not fair'. I guess the point was, fair or not fair, it was what it was. In the end it was an opportunity to speak my truth...a truth that vastly contributed to my healing process. n