Learn to Meditate

One of the most common questions people ask about meditation is, “how do I get rid of thoughts during meditation?” The short answer is, “you don’t.” Now, you might think that may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. And it’s complete freedom! In the past, when I tried meditating, I was told (or somehow led to believe) that meditation was about getting rid of thought. Of course, I failed at meditation. I remember my first meditation being extremely painful because of all the thoughts. After the meditation, I didn’t feel any better because I felt like a complete and utter failure. Believing that meditation is about getting rid of thought will set anyone up for failure. I’ll never forget the scene from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy where the crew is walking through the desert and one of the men says, “I was thinking...” and a big shovel comes up and hits him in the face. They continue walking and he says “I thought that...” and the shovel again comes up and smacks him in the face. They make the connection that every time they think a thought, the shovel will come up and hit them in the face. So someone says, “Okay everyone, don’t think,” and the shovel comes up and hits him in the face. Then you see the entire crew running through the desert getting bonked with shovels in their faces. That’s what happens when you try to get rid of the thoughts! When you tell yourself to stop thinking about what’s for dinner tonight, all you can think about is what’s for dinner! And here’s the cold hard truth, the only time you will EVER get rid of thought is when you’re dead. Even Buddhist monks who have practiced meditation since young ages, have thoughts during meditation. Here’s the key: Meditation is NOT about getting rid of thought, it’s about becoming the OBSERVER of thought. You might want to read that sentence again because it’s important! When I check in with people after meditation and they express that they noticed they had lots of thoughts during the meditation, I tell them to celebrate the fact that they noticed all the thoughts! Just by noticing the thoughts, they have become the observer of thought. Just the fact that you are aware of the thoughts means you have dis-identified from them.rnMost of the time we aren’t even aware of the incessant mind chatter that is going on non-stop, so to even notice the thoughts is a great! When you notice the thought you have become the witnessing Presence. And this is truly the gift of meditation, to become the observer of thought instead of the “reactor.” So, what does it mean to be the observer of thought? Let’s say you’re sitting down to meditate. You have cultivated the practice of meditation in your daily life. But as you are meditating the thought comes into your mind, “I wonder what we’re having for dinner?” You notice the thought, just as you’d notice a cloud floating by and then you’re done with it, you direct your attention back to meditation and feel the aliveness within. Contrast that to this: You sit down to meditate. As you are meditating the thought comes to mind, “I wonder what we’re having for dinner?” Then you think “I hope we’re not going to have onions. I hate onions.” Then the thought comes to mind, “That reminds me, I’ve got to go to the store tomorrow and get toilet paper.” Then, “When am I going to find time to go to the store tomorrow when I have such a hectic day at the office?” Then you think, “I really don’t like what I’m doing, I wish I could do something else,” then your mind wanders “but how would we make ends meet financially if I were to do something different?” Then you think “I shouldn’t have tried to make my parents proud of me by going to law school, I should have stuck with music which was my real passion.” Then you think, “but the music industry is hard to break into.” Then you think “but Celine Dion did it. If one person can do it, I can do it too.” Then you wonder, “what would I do if I had all that money?” Then that thought leads to, “I’d buy a bigger house with a jacuzzi bath, I’ve always wanted a jacuzzi bath and a three car garage and music studio.” Then you think, “what am I thinking? There’s no way I can do anything about my situation, I’m trapped!” Then you wonder, “what’s the purpose of life any way? There’s got to be more than this daily grind!” All this from the original thought “I wonder what we’re having for dinner?” Exhausting! Becoming the observer of thought means you notice the thought you just don’t follow it out. You don’t have to become wrapped up in it! You don’t get sucked in to the drama! You’re not attached to the thought. I remember once, after starting a regular meditation practice, that I was working on some project and for a moment I had those self-limiting thoughts we all have, I thought “I can’t do this project.” And it was like it wasn’t even me saying it. I noticed the thought and smiled like, “hmmmm, that was interesting.” Then I was done with it! The most important thing I could tell any beginning meditator is to not try and get rid of the thoughts. Observe them, notice them, and then go back to whatever “technique” you were working with for your meditation. Continue to do this, as it’s a practice, especially when first starting meditation. In this way, you are slowly becoming the observer of thought instead of the reactor and this is a powerful “place” to be!