Learning to Forgive

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." Rumi One of the biggest obstacles to creating the life you truly want is not being able to let go of the past. You may not even be consciously hanging onto the past. It could be a hurt or a negative belief that happened when you were a child and is now so deeply ingrained you don't know it's there. Until something triggers it and then it rises up to sabotage you. Learning to forgive is one of the most freeing experiences you can have in life. Forgiveness is not about someone else. Forgiveness is about you; it sets you free. Recognizing and accepting that what other people may have said to you, done to you, or done to others that you have witnessed is part of the life lessons everyone faces. That doesn't mean you don't feel hurt or pain or anger over the event or situation. It simply means you need to recognize the situation as it is and find a way to let those feelings go, or they - the feelings - will keep you from living the life you truly want and deserve. Perhaps the most difficult part of forgiveness is learning to forgive yourself. You are probably a much more severe critic of your own actions and mistakes than anyone else is or would be. Which is why forgiving yourself may be much harder than forgiving others who have hurt or damaged you. But then sometimes the most rewarding tasks are the ones that require the most persistence and determination to accomplish. No mater what, you need to practice forgiveness for yourself, people, events and hurts that have touched your life and left an emotional imprint. If you don't learn to forgive, and you hang onto the emotions, they will continue to affect your life in so many different ways - in physical ailments (also known as "body syndromes"), in holding you back from succeeding, in depression, even in serious or terminal illness. Here are three ways to learn to forgive. There are other ways but these are simple to learn and easy to incorporate into a daily practice. (1) All forgiveness starts with you and is about setting you free. So start by forgiving yourself first and then you will be better able to forgive others. This simple affirmation comes from Propserity Master Edwene Gaines. Repeat it as often as you can. Write it out on an index card or note and tape it to your bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator. Then every time you see it, say it: “I forgive myself for every mistake I’ve ever made. I allow myself to feel forgiven and to move forward in my life.” Keep saying it, even if you don’t feel it at first. Through the Law of Repetition, eventually, your mind will accept it as truth. Then, when you make what you feel to be another mistake, it will be much easier to forgive yourself and move on with your life. (2) Ho'oponopono as explained by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len. Ho'oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness for everything that happens in your life. Certain types of ho’opnopono involve asking your ancestors for forgiveness. Dr. Len takes it to a different level, a higher level. Dr. Len believes that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life so you must forgive yourself in order to clear out the negativity and fear that you are projecting out into the world, which then becomes the experiences you have in the world. In other words, everything you see - whether it's a first-hand experience or something on the news - is a direct projection from inside of you. To change what you see around you, you must first change yourself. More importantly, you must learn to love and forgive yourself. Here's how: Simply repeat "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." According to Dr. Len, "The idea of Ho’oponopono is to work directly with The Divinity, saying to The Divinity incessantly: ‘I Love You; I am sorry; Please forgive me for whatever is going on in me that I perceive this in a certain way; Thank You.’, and then allow The Divinity to make the corrections, which is to transmute the garbage (memories) in my subconscious mind back to Zero, and then out of that Zero (void), Divinity can come forth." Source: Zero Limits by Dr Joe Vitale and Dr IhaleakalaHew Len (3) Use the power of blessing as explained by Gregg Braden In his book, "Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer," Gregg Braden offers this process for blessing the people, events and situations that have in any way caused you pain. This includes blessing yourself for things you have done or believed about yourself that have caused you to feel anger, hurt, pain, betrayal or any other negative emotion that you hold within you. It is a three-step process and each step is important for the release so don't skip any. First, state: "I bless (and here place the name or names of those who have been hurt, including you if you are the one who has been hurt) Next, state: "I bless (here place the names of who or what has caused the hurt; be as specific as possible) Then, state: "I bless me in the witnessing." rnAs Braden further explains, "Although the reason for our hurt still exists, what has happened is that we've changed the way we feel about our hurt. This is the power of our blessing." We create our world based on our feelings. When we change how we feel, we change our world. Again, forgiveness is not about overlooking, condoning or dismissing negative behavior. It is about understanding that such things occur, and rather than letting these painful events fester within and ruin our lives, we can let the emotions go and look at life from a perspective of love. Practice the art of forgiving every day and watch how your world will change.