Learning To Not Ever Keep Score In A Marriage

Why do we all seem to leave something on the table when we say I Do at the altar? I hear typical complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight that one is giving more than the other.

A great marriage is never just about an equal split. Some give more than others. A spouse may also have to take it easy for a while. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.

It is always a mistake to think that life and relationships will always be fair. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But we must always remember that equality is something searched for and never really reached.

Remember that the love quotes that we all read must be an inspiration and not a judgment. Everybody wants a love that lasts like we read about in the quotes about love But that love is one that is acquired and not just handed to us.

For any relationship to work it must be understood that a marriage is a full time commitment and not to be entered with only half hearted intentions. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. We should all note that a relationship that is healthy is one that has both partners giving the whole of their being. But it should be noted that does not mean that each will give equally since some have more to give. But again, different seasons of life will mean that each person will give differently to the relationship.

The question is, can you look at your relationship from the standpoint of sacrifice? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much more support than your original bargain called for!

You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Some people may have irritation if they are the one giving more money to the marriage. The one thing to keep in mind is that each spouse will not earn the same amount of money so one person has to earn more money. But keep in mind that each person will have unique skill sets and different limitations from the other person. So each person will give differently to the relationship to make it work well.

The best thing that we can ever do for our marriage is to learn how to love each other in sacrificial ways. The love that we share with each other must be free of judgment and defensiveness. It is then that we can enjoy the blessings of a love that feeds us.