Lesbian Dating Tips

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” – Unknown

1. Speak confidently, honestly and well of yourself. Repugnant and worthless won’t get you dates… well, at least dates that you want. Dating is like marketing, it is critical to highlight the benefits and features of dating or being in a relationship with you.

2. Focus on living, enjoying, and experiencing life. Dating is a part of life… it isn’t life. The more you zero in on dating, the more desperate you begin to sound, and less interesting you will become to others. Enjoy your singled-life, pursue your interests, develop hobbies, join groups, have fun with your friends. Become interesting, and be active. In order to meet women you must be visible, accessible, and of interest. Note: If suggestion #1 is to market oneself well, #2 is to have a good product (you) to market!

3. Live as openly as possible about your sexual orientation and dating status. Ironically, one of the best places to meet other women is in your everyday life. At the gym, at work, at church, in your apartment complex, through friends, etc. In order for this to work, though, when you are in these environments it is helpful for others to know that a) you are lesbian, and b) you are single. Make it known.

4. Utilize existing networks and venues designed to help lesbians meet. Thanks to the internet it is increasingly easier to make connections with other lesbians seeking to connect.

Search facebook for lesbians near you, or visit facebookforlesbians.com or theLcafe.com This is a great social networking site for lesbians (single lesbians and partnered lesbians alike). You can get to know other women without the pressure or awkwardness associated with dating sites.

5. Join an affirming congregation if you are interested in spiritual worship. There are many affirming congregations such as MCC churches, UU churches, and others throughout the US that offer ways to connect their gay and lesbian members.

6. Expand your friendship network. Decrease your focus on dating, and increase your focus on friendship. Your friends are excellent dating referral sources! Friends like to see friends happy – and when you have two really great, single friends, it is natural to want them to meet. The more friends you have – whether they are partnered or not, the better. Be a genuine friend too – otherwise this strategy won’t work.

7. Surround yourself well. I read somewhere, and I agree, that we either rise or fall to the same level of those around whom we surround ourselves. Are you hanging out with people that help you be a better person… or are you hanging out with people who do not represent the likes of those you’d like to attract into your life?

8. Lastly I encourage you to take risks and be creative. Do the unexpected. For example, after reading this you could leave a comment to this post (presumably a post that will be read by other lesbians), say something witty, announce your availability, and leave your email address in the comment section inviting single women to contact you. Approach that hotie at the gym and strike up a conversation. To the cute gal that flirted with you at the bank, leave your phone number and name on a deposit slip (that’s a true story someone told me… and it worked!). You never know what will work until you try.