Living with Loss Part 1

Life is full of so many losses--Major losses brought about by fighting, divorce or separation, getting laid off, becoming ill, or dying. Then there are the minor losses, such as loss of a budding friendship, loss of a material object, even loss of hair. (Some may think this is a major loss, I suppose, in the age of Rogaine....) It's easy to get caught up in our suffering and let ourselves succumb to negative victim thinking.

For many of us right now, it's a time of uncertainty, frustration, and downright disbelief about what some would deem necessary in human "civilization." We're all reeling—-consciously or unconsciously—-from the recent economic and ecological catastrophes in our country. In addition to an economic nosedive, Big Oil's negligence has resulted in an oil spill of epic proportions. Whether we'd like to admit it or not, this oil spill is taking a toll on our emotional and physical resources.

Obviously, our suffering is nothing compared to what the many multigenerational fishing and shrimping families are living with at the moment. They are suffering from loss of income and the potential loss of livelihood. Still, while they are suffering, they are the people who are out there shoveling oily sand into heavy buckets and scrubbing the oiled birds with Dawn dishwashing liquid. They are prime examples of how to handle loss since they are trying to fix, or at least lessen, the problems affecting them.

If they can survive such a catastrophic loss, surely we can survive the losses in our lives. And if we can somehow get a handle on our grief, our sadness, our anger, and all those mixed emotions we feel (or repress), then we can help create some peace in our lives.

As we reflect on what we have lost—-individually and collectively—-I would like to suggest that we see LOSS as not a bad thing or something to be avoided, but rather as a CATALYST FOR GROWTH. After all, how many of us are willing to learn any kind of life lesson when things are absolutely peachy???

I recently lost an important friendship. It's not an easy loss, and my microcosmic emotional loss combined with the collective losses resulting from the oil spill is enough to get anyone down. Yet I know that this personal loss was necessary to move my life along, just as the environmental loss is essential to helping us evolve into better stewards of our environment. Loss doesn't strip us of everything. In contrast, it takes away what is keeping us and our lives still. Loss is Letting Ourselves Surrender Stagnancy!

Of course we can't control when someone dies, nor can we control any of the losses our physical bodies endure, though we can help prevent them through sound nutrition, exercise, and stress reduction. When our bodies reach a point of stagnation in which the physical form can no longer function, the soul/spirit/essence must move on to another form.

We are energy, and according to a fundamental law of physics, energy is neither lost nor gained; it simply changes form. So we can see loss is simply a change of form in which our bodies, our lives, our beings release stagnation and embrace flow, the inevitable movement of the natural cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

I invite you to sit back, take a deep breath, and realize that to move forward you must first accept your loss. Then, in the second part of this article, you;ll discover how to take focused action and get through whatever loss you are currently experiencing.

Remember, we can reframe loss as Letting Ourselves Surrender Stagnancy and realize that somewhere, in the depths of that experience, is an opportunity for regeneration, restructuring, and rebirth. Every ending is a beginning. We can grow through our experiences if we are open to learning what the universe has to teach us.