Love, Marriage, Happiness - One Way to Have it All

Many people love their marriage partner, but they complain about their relationship. They want to have a happy marriage with the partner they love. However, they blame, complain and ultimately move into a life where all they are doing is tolerating each other. It's so sad. Tolerating is resignation, enduring, and putting up with each other. There is no fun or desire to create fun. This leads to energy between two people that is filled with anger, depression and frustration.

There are many reasons why we tolerate certain situations. Living a life of overwhelm may make one believe they are too busy or afraid to change anything. They don't want to "rock the boat." Many people do not trust their own resources for creating something different for themselves. People let their fears stop them. Others are just plain lazy and by tolerating, they get to complain or become a victim. Where is the love, joy and juice in that kind of existence?

To move from tolerance to happiness in your relationship, you can use this one simple technique. We adapted it and called it "Act As If You Have the Relationship You Desire." Here is an example of "acting as if" from Diane's life. You can apply the "act as if" concept to your relationship status no matter what it is.

I decided to make learning this concept of "act as if" a game. I was ready to meet "Mr. Right" after 15 years as a single mom and a few dating experiences. The lessons I learned from dating and from my marriage/divorce gave me a strong sense of what I wanted in a relationship.

Before engaging in ANY activity, not just dating or the social scene, I asked myself, "How would a queen act now?" (If you are male, you could use any masculine, fair and loving role model.) "What would a queen be thinking? How would she move and speak?"

For starters, I learned to receive gestures of kindness and respect with grace. Every day, I stated my intention for being in a relationship filled with love, joy and respect.

After "acting as if" I were a queen, I forgot what tolerating was. I was busy transitioning into the new situations I had attracted into my life. I entered into marriage with a kind gentleman whom I love. He calls me Princess and hasn't stopped. I live in a comfortable country home and enjoy a good life. Ah, the life of a queen!

"Acting as if" begins with pretending, at first, whatever it is you want to be. The more force and intensity you put into in "acting as if," the quicker things will come. It is imperative to keep "acting as if." The more you act, the more you move into the feeling and believability of what you want to be. Pretty soon, you can stop pretending, because you will actually be living your vision.

"Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent. People are creatures of habit." -- T. Harv Eker

"Acting as if" is a practice. It allows you to get started now! You do not have to wait until everything is great. Are you ready to practice being what you want your world to be?