***Love Relationships At Work

I received a question this week asking, “Just wondering what your attitude would be toward a boss and subordinate starting a relationship at work and the effects on other staff?” Personally, my “attitude” when it comes to office romances is to run for the hills if you’re even considering this. Nothing good can come of this. The numbers are against their success in any way. That’s my attitude. However, with that being said, I also have opinions on several different scenarios which may shed a little more light. In the question, there was no other description of the details of this relationship at work and so I was left to ponder these scenarios and come up with an opinion on each. So here goes.nnBoss and subordinate are both single. If this were the case, I really don’t see how this would be of anyone’s business but the two parties involved. Provided they have both come clean and are open about their relationship, the only course of action would be to ensure that the subordinate does not report directly to the boss and instead, would report directly to either another manager or a supervisor of some sort. The boss would also have to practice recusal in all dealings involving the subordinate to ensure that there would be no conflict of interest or perceived favoritism when it came time for performance reviews, promotions or other special considerations of the subordinate. In fact, I know a couple who met at work (he was her boss) and upon the decision to start dating, they approached his superior and announced their plans. She now reports directly to a different boss yet they still work together in the same department. Honesty works.nnEither boss or subordinate or both are already in a relationship with other people. This would be a completely inappropriate relationship and one of the two would need to be removed immediately from the workplace, preferably both. This is a character/values/integrity issue. Any organization that would knowingly allow two people to engage in an inappropriate relationship such as this, has obviously demonstrated that it lacks the moral fiber to serve its customers and the rest of the staff with integrity and good judgment. In fact, I am aware of one situation where this did occur – manager and subordinate having an inappropriate relationship. A corporate VP found out about it, brought the two into the office and told them that within twenty minutes, one of the two of them was leaving the company and for them to figure out who was going. The subordinate left and the manager not long after. It is crucial that if you are going to engage in a relationship at work, that it be above-board and transparent. A relationship based on lies never lasts and it does tremendous damage to morale and employee engagement. If you’ll do something that is dishonest with your co-workers, you’ll do it with your customers.nnAttitude Adjustment: If you see something at work that is questionable and it goes against your values and morals, you need to speak up. Tell the boss’s boss. However, if your boss is the top of the food chain, you need to dust off the resume and start looking for another job. Before you leave, confront the boss and tell him or her the truth of why you are leaving. Being found out by others is usually a great way to bring an end to an inappropriate relationship. Bosses hate to lose face with their subordinates – hopefully, it makes them realize that they have damaged the trust and respect of their staff. People don’t perform well for bosses who are not trusted, respected or lack integrity. Besides, you really don’t want to work there if that’s the environment. Dishonesty and inappropriateness really do affect the bottom-line. But not speaking up only gives a blessing to the inappropriate behavior. Are you willing to sell out your values for a paycheck?