“Loving Your Partner” or “Loving Too Much” Determines Whether the Relationship Fails or Succeeds

You may see yourself as someone who loves “taking care” of your partner. You do “all you can” to pamper, give and be there for him/her. But is it really “love” or are you driven by insecurity and a deep unconscious need to be loved?

“LOVING” and “LOVING TOO MUCH”

Do you, each time you begin a relationship, immediately begin taking care of your partner? That he’d eats properly; dresses properly; that he remembers his appointments?
Do you, in spite of all this caring, are surprised to find yourself, time and again, abandoned and alone?

* Have you ever considered the possibility that “taking care a lot” doesn’t always come out of love, but might rather be driven by fears, needs, dependency or control issues?

* Do you know where your behavior originates from?

* If so, is there anything you can do to change this “exaggerated” behavior into a more balanced one?

REASONS WHICH MIGHT BE DRIVING YOUR “CARING” BEHAVIOR

You may perceive yourself as a loving, romantic, devoted person, who loves taking care of your partner. What you might not be aware of is that you’re controlled by an unconscious need for love and acceptance. It may well be that you behave the way you do for any of the following reasons:

* You lack self-confidence and need love and affection in order to feel you’re worth something.

* Since childhood you’ve been competing with another sibling and have developed an unconscious need for constant attention.

* As a child, you might not have felt that your parents cared about you so that now, in your adult relationships, you express the same conce
for your partner(s) that you expected them to express to you.

NOT BEING AWARE OF THE NEEDS THAT CONTROL YOU

Whatever the reason for your need for attention, acceptance and love, it is likely that you are NOT aware that this need controls you. Without consciously deciding to do so, you’ve developed a behavioral pattern of TAKING CARE OF YOUR PARTNER. When you do - so you unconsciously believe - you’ll get back warmth and love. What you don’t see or understand is that your great conce
for your partner(s) is interpreted as prying, smothering, and an attempt to controlling them.

Once you develop Self-Awareness and understand why you have adapted this “taking care” role and which of your needs you are trying to fulfill, you’ll be able to halt this behavior and have the option of choosing to behave in healthier ways; of expressing conce
for your partner(s) if and when you choose, without overdoing it. Showing love and care in a balanced way is vital for a healthy relationship.